Change of Heart
by Writer-in-Disguise
Summary: Can a person get past the false hate that buries love and realize their true feelings before it's too late? Or will fate pull cruel tricks on them? SBOC
1. Chapter 1

Change of Heart

**Chapter 1-**

Another grand day at Hogwarts. The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze, the students were chattering and laughter filled the air. A pretty brunette girl with a radiant smile stood near a tree talking to a handsome boy with dark hair that hung elegantly over his face. It was an endearing sight, really. An airhead and a womanizer. Just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?

Ah, but who has such a bleak outlook on life? Who could possibly make this gleeful moment feel similar to that of the feeling of anticipation the people in the French Revolution had before they went to the guillotine? Severus Snape could, but that isn't the point. Although Snape may be harboring several psychological problems, _my_ point is that if any girl in this school had a half of a brain, even a fourth, they would not be talking to Sirius Black. In three days, maybe only two, this girl will coming sobbing into the Great Hall, wailing about her broken heart. Real heart warming, isn't it?

"Courtney, are you even paying any attention to me?" someone snaps.

I look down to see a glaring red head rolling her eyes at me. My best friend, Lily Evans, was having one of her 'I-Hate-James-Potter-the-Scum-of-the-Earth' rants. Honestly, who can pay attention to those rant things? They hardly ever vary. They're getting more frequent because he's been made Head Boy and with Lily being Head Girl, one of them will not come out of this with all of their limbs. I have a feeling that I'll be enduring several more of these.

"No," I answer.

"Don't you even have the decency to lie and say that you were?" she asked, giving me a half-hearted glare.

"No, I was watching Black sweet talk his newest victim," I replied, craning my neck to get a better view.

"Oh, really? Where?" she said eagerly, pushing me over to get a peak.

"I give her three days," I commented.

"Are you crazy? She'll be pushing for two days. You and I both know that Black favors tall, stupid, blondes," Lily laughed.

"She might be brunette and short, but she definitely makes up for it in the intelligence department. The girl can hardly tell which end of the wand to hold," I pointed out.

"This is true," Lily said thoughtfully, "I still only give her two days though."

"Fine. Your loss," I said, "Three sickles as usual?"

"Let's make it four. She's a tough one to judge," she replied.

This what Lily and I like to call Black Betting. This is a weekly occurance in which we observe Black and his latest giggling idiot and guess how long Black will keep her around until he gets bored and dumps her. This year will prove to be difficult. Because it is our seventh and final year at Hogwarts, chances are that Black is going to attempt to date nearly every girl in the school. It's only the first week of school, so he's getting his pace set.

"Did you do your Potions?" I asked, looking through her bag.

"Yes, why?" she questioned, not looking up from her Astronomy chart.

"Just wondering," I shrugged, sneaking the essay out to copy.

"Alright," she muttered.

"Lily, did you know that there was a love letter from Potter stuck to the back of your essay?" I asked, smirking at the envelop decorated in hearts.

"That's lovely," she said dryly, "Do me a favor and destroy it."

"Will do," I said and set the letter on fire.

"Oi! Meadowes! What do you think you're doing!" someone yelled, running up to us.

"Burning this piece of parchment. What does it matter to you, Potter?" I questioned innocently.

"That was for Lily," he spat in a scandalized tone.

"Oh, really, didn't notice," I mumbled, scribbling down a copy of Lily's essay.

"Yes, you did. Both of you! I heard you!" he argued.

"What, were you spying on us or something?" Lily snorted.

"Er...no...course not," he muttered, shuffling his feet around.

"You are so-" she started angrily, only to be interrupted by Sirius Black.

"What'd I miss, Prongs?" he asked, breathless from his sprint away from his airhead.

"Meadowes burnt the letter!" Potter cried, and pointed a shaking finger at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, dipping my quill in the inkwell.

"You know, you're a real mean, stuck up prude, right?" Black questioned.

"Bite me," I retorted, refusing to look him in the eye.

"My point exactly," he said.

"Go away," I snapped, standing up to face him.

"What did I do?" I exclaimed.

"Does mean, stuck up prude ring any bells?" I shouted, my temper rising quickly.

"What's your problem, Meadowes? Need any help removing that pole from your arse?" he asked.

My temper reached a boiling point and before Sirius Black knew what was coming, my foot connected with his balls. His eyes widened and he let out a short grunt of pain before he dropped to his knees, grasping himself. I shot him one last disgusted glare before I stomped off to the castle.

"I think you said a bit too much, Padfoot," Potter said to his friend, patting his back, "Just walk it off, mate, just walk it off."

--------------------------------

So maybe I acted a bit rashly...but he deserved it. It's not my fault he's a nosy, arrogant git. He had it coming. It'll...er...build character. Yes, it'll build character.

Alright, alright. So I feel a bit guilty...just a bit. I mean, if I was a bloke I don't think I'd want anyone to kick me there. Then again, he asked if I needed help getting the pole out of my arse. I think I take back what I said about guilt. I feel refreshed. The only thing that could possibly beat this moment is being able to nail that blasted Mrs. Norris a good one.

I hardly noticed where I was going until I collided with someone, knocking both them and myself to the ground.

"Oh, sorry, Remus. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," I said, scrambling to get his books for him.

"It's alright, Courtney, really. I wasn't paying attention myself either," he assured me, giving me a hand off the ground.

Remus Lupin is the only Marauder I can stand. I'd actually say that we're friends. He sometimes joins Lily and I in the library or during class. Why he hangs out with morons like Black and Potter is something that I'll never know.

"Yes, just a few things on my mind," I muttered, "irritating things."

"What'd they do?" he asked immediately.

"Potter spied on us I think and Black said, I quote, 'Need any help removing that pole from your arse?'" I said bitterly as he winced.

"Sorry about that...they...er...don't tend to think before they open their mouths," he said, walking to the common room alongside me.

"Black just has some issues with me for some reason, but I'm used to that...and, well, do we really need to say anything for Potter? He's just not the brightest crayon in the box at times," I laughed.

"I'll agree with you on that one...actually both. Merlin only knows why Sirius doesn't like you. It's like Lily hating James. There's no valid reason behind it," he said.

"Lily has a reason!" I argued, "The guy practically stalks her!"

"He doesn't really know that he comes on a bit a strong," Remus said, chuckling.

"Yeah," I mumbled thoughtfully and was pulled out of my thoughts by a loud groan.

"Come on, Padfoot," James urged.

"I'm going to kill Meadowes when I find her," he snarled.

I had to cover my mouth so I didn't laugh when they came into view. Sirius had one arm slung over his friend as James was dragging him to the portrait hole. His other hand was still in the same place as it had been when I left. He's so dramatic. I rolled my eyes and as soon as I did, I felt his intense glare on me. Bugger. He's spotted me.

"I think I'll be heading off, Remus," I whispered nervously.

I'll admit it. Black is a bit scarey when he's angry. I can handle him being cocky and rude, but when he's angry like he is now, it's best to stay clear. His face seems to darken like the sky does before a big thunderstorm and he seems taller, which would seem impossible being that he's nearly a head taller than me.

"Oh no you don't, Meadowes!" he bellowed, miraculously healing as he stormed towards me.

I was so scared when I saw him stomping towards me that I could have thrown up. Everyone in the wizarding world knows what the Blacks are like. They're up to their eyeballs in the Dark Arts. Nobody is going to tell me that Sirius didn't pick up a good bit of information living there. I was surprised when Remus stepped in front of me.

"Just leave her be, Sirius," he said calmly.

"You're standing up for her, Moony! She kicked me in the...in the," he threw his hands wildly around to get his point through.

"She probably had good reason to," Remus replied.

Sirius didn't say anything to this. Potter's muffled laughter could be heard though.

"I don't think offering your help to remove the pole from her arse was the nicest thing to say," Remus scolded.

"It's for the good of the people!" Black protested.

He didn't look nearly as intimidating as he had before. There was a ghost of a smile on his face. Remus had a definite calming effect on him. Regaining what little pride I had, I bit back at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"I'm saying that if the pole was removed, you'd probably be a lot nicer," he snapped back, his anger begininng to return.

"I'm not mean!" I argued.

"That's what you'd like to think," he muttered.

"You little-" I started, getting wound up.

"Padfoot, you told Rhonda that you'd meet her in the common room, remember?" Potter piped up, obviously lying because he pulled a face and darted his eyes around.

"I did?" Black responded, puzzled.

"Yeah," Potter said.

"There's a girl named Rhonda in our school?" Black asked, still bewildered.

"Haha, Padfoot. You're a funny one today," he jeered, clapping his back and leading him through the portrait hole.

"I'll have to thank Potter for that one later," I sighed and slid down to the floor.

"It's a good thing Sirius is gullible," Remus laughed, sitting down next to me.

"I'm just glad he stopped that fight," I mumbled, playing with my hands.

"You turned white as a sheet when Sirius spotted you," he commented.

Remus is so bloody perceptive. He has this keen sense of things, like when people are upset, afraid, or lying. He must of noticed that I was scared out of my wits...then again, anyone with eyes could tell.

"Really?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"I think you underestimate him, Courtney. He's not going to hurt you," he said softly.

My breath caught in my throat. It's scarey how Remus knows what I'm thinking. I considered his words though. Would Sirius really sink so low as to hurt me? Knowing his normal, outgoing personality, I wouldn't think so. There's always that nagging fear in the back of my mind though, reminding me that he is a Black and does not like me.

"I need to get that Potions essay done," I said briskly, standing up.

"Alright," Remus said, looking suspicious.

"I'll see you around, Remus," I called back as I hopped through the portrait hole.

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**A/N-**How was it? Should I continue with it? I had the idea floating around in my head for a while and decided that I'd try it out and see how good or bad it turned out. **Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-**I don't own anything. Nothing's fair in life except the hair on a billy goat's butt.

**Thanks so much for the reviews!**

**Chapter 2-**

History of Magic is the most boring class ever. Even if the teacher was alive, I'm sure that the class would hardly be any more exciting. I have broken down. Instead of notes on my parchment, there is an intense battle scene with stick people.

"What are you doing?" Lily hissed.

"Drawing a stick person warrior with a spear," I whispered, not looking up from my drawing.

"You should be taking notes," she scolded.

"Lily, you're the only person that takes notes in History of Magic," I sighed.

"I am not," she said indigantly, "I'm sure Remus does too. He surely knows the importance of our education."

"I bet he doesn't," I argued.

"Yes, he does. He's very responsible," Lily insisted.

"A sickle says that he's playing hangman with Potter," I said.

"Fine," she huffed.

I scribbled a note onto my parchment to throw to Remus. He gave me a confused look and read the note.

_Are you taking notes? And just ignore the drawings..._

An amused smile came across his face when he saw my drawing. He nudged Potter, who also looked amused. Remus picked up his quill and scrawled a quick response.

_No, I'm playing hangman with Prongs._

"I told you," I smirked, showing Lily the note.

"Hmph," she grumbled and returned to taking notes.

I love being right. I sighed in content and continued to draw my stick person massacre. It was very entertaining. Lily gave me a few irritated sideways glances when I made sound effects. One cannot fully enjoy illustrating a fierce, stick person battle without a few sound effects.

"NOOO! I have been speared!" I whispered in a strained, high voice, shaking my head.

"Would you shut up?" Lily hissed.

I sat quietly in my seat for the remaining two minutes before the bloody class was over. I swear, they slow down time in there. I stood up, stretched, yawned, and trudged out of the room. I grinned when I saw Remus ahead of me and trotted up to him.

"Hey, Remus," I greeted.

"Courtney," he said and nodded at me.

"Did you finish the Potions essay?" I asked, pulling out my half-finished copy of Lily's.

"I'd let you copy it, but Sirius has it right now," he said, knowing what I was getting at.

"Where is the prat, then?" I questioned, looking around for him.

"Probably snogging some poor girl in a broom closet," he responded dryly.

"If he's snogging, why the hell does he need the essay!" I cried.

"It's Sirius, there is no logical explanation. The only explanation he has is his own, and _nobody_ can understand _that_," Remus said.

"I _need_ that essay! Potions is in ten minutes!" I whined.

"Why don't you just borrow Lily's?" he asked.

"She...er...said I couldn't use it after I made noises when I was doodling in History of Magic," I mumbled.

"Oh, that was _you_ making the strange comments!" he laughed.

"Yes...well...It's time to start searching broom closets!" I yelled.

I ripped open the first door. Nothing.

I opened the second one. A moldy old mop and a first year with his hands and feet tied together.

The third one had a suspicious looking substance in it that could possibly to be toxic.

...And behind door number four we have...Sirius Black snogging a poor girl! DING DING DING! I'm the lucky winner today, folks.

"Black, give me the essay," I demanded.

Obviously surprised at the interruption, he gave me a funny look. His hair was messed up and he had this irritating cocky smile on his face. The boy really needs his ego deflated...a lot. I'm not sure who is worse, him or Potter.

"What are you talking about, Meadowes?" he questioned.

"The Potions essay. Cough it up," I snapped.

"Oh," he said, "Could you get that out of my pocket...er...darling?"

Merlin, he can't even remember her name. I rolled my eyes at him. The girl reached into his robes and pulled out a crinkled piece of parchment. I snatched it out of his hand, slammed the door shut, and stomped away.

I walked to a deserted corridor and sat down, ready to copy down the essay. I unfolded it and found that it was blank. I turned it every which way, but it was completely blank! I growled in frustration, muttering things about Black when words appeared on the parchment.

_Mr. Moony would like to advise Ms. Meadowes to put down the parchment before she becomes irate._

_Mr. Padfoot would like to give Ms. Meadowes his deepest sympathy because that large, metal pole must really hurt her arse._

_Mr. Prongs would like to remind Mr. Padfoot that he's been talking about that arse quite a bit._

_Mr. Wormtail requests that Ms. Meadowes does not cause him any bodily harm and that he did not have anything to do with the responses of Mr. Padfoot or Mr. Prongs._

I sputtered angrily, not knowing what to say. My mouth opened and closed for a couple seconds before I heard someone's running footsteps and panting.

"Meadowes, there you are. I need that parchment back," Black said, clutching the stitch in his side.

"Oh, _this_ parchment," I drawled, waving it in front of his face.

His flushed face visibly paled. I couldn't help but feel slightly satisfied at his reaction. This small satisfaction was begininng to ebb away my anger, so I decided that while I still had my fury to fuel me, I stomped on his foot with all my might. He didn't even flinch. I huffed and stalked away.

Just as I was turning the corner, I heard what was music to my ears.

"Ow, ow, OW! Bugger!"

Mission accomplished.

When I finally got to the dungeons, my face was red from anger. He was talking about my arse! I ought to kill the little coakroach now. I plopped down beside Pettigrew and gave him a dirty look.

"Where did you get that parchment?" I snapped.

"W-what?" he asked.

"The parchment that insults people. I saw it," I said.

"O-oh that one...er...," he stuttered.

"Tell me now and I won't hurt you," I said calmly.

"Please don't hurt me! Please! Remus, Sirius, and James made it!" he confessed.

"Is it illegal?" I questioned.

"Maybe, I don't know!" Pettigrew whimpered.

"Is that the only purpose of that parchment?" I demanded.

"Don't answer her," someone said from behind me.

"Bugger off, Potter," I said carelessly, but then I remembered what he said on the parchment.

"You do have an attitude, Meadowes," Potter scolded.

"Was Black really talking about my arse?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

He gulped, but just as he was about to open his mouth, stupid Slughorn marched in. After greeting his favorites, he assigned us a simple potion.

I chopped the ingredients a little too fiercely. _Die. Die. Die._ As I was glaring at the back of Black's head and slicing roots at the same time, I just about took my thumb off. I felt this cold sensation on my thumb and then I saw red...a lot of it.

"ARRRRRRRRRGH!" I shrieked, dropping the small knife and gaining everyone's attention.

"Oh dear, Mr. Black, please escort Miss Meadowes to the hospital wing," Slughorn ordered.

The old bloke can't stand the sight of blood and let's just say that it was very plentiful at the moment.

"Do I have to?" he whined, "Can't Evans or someone else do it?"

"You're nearly finished with your potion. Off you go," Slughorn said and sent us off.

"C'mon," he growled and tugged me out by my arm.

"I'm bleeding! Be careful!" I said.

"Yes, it looks like your thumb is just about hacked off," he laughed.

"It isn't funny, Black! What if I only have four fingers left on this hand after this!" I cried.

"HAHAHAHA!"

"This is why I despise you," I muttered to myself.

"No, you're just mean," he said bluntly.

"Hurry up, Black," I snapped.

"My point exactly," he grumbled.

I stopped to stare at him. He has to be kidding.

"I'M BLEEDING! HALF OF MY THUMB IS ALMOST COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED FROM MY HAND! YOU'D BE A BIT ON THE SHORT SIDE TOO!" I yelled.

"YOU ALMOST DISCONNECTED MY _BALLS_, MEADOWES! YOU DON'T SEE ME BITING PEOPLE'S HEADS OFF!" he shouted back.

I glared at him before storming off to the hospital wing by myself. My shoes were very loud on the floors and made the corridors seem a bit on the eerie side. I heard footsteps and sped up, thinking it was Black. I stopped when a figure emerged in front of me. How did Black get ahead of me? They raised their wand and I could see a sinister grin come across their features.

I don't think that's Black...

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**A/N-**As always, a nice short chapter. I hope you liked this chapter. I'll try to update again soon. **Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer-**I have no interesting disclaimer to put here...so I'm just going to state that I don't own anything.

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Chapter 3-**

My throat tightened when I saw the wand being raised. It was very dim, almost dark in the corridor and I felt trapped. I wanted to run, but my feet were cemented to the floor. I'm not a person that is often ambushed. This isn't a normal occurance for me so I don't really have a clue on how I should be reacting right now. Actually, I don't think I could even hold a wand if I had the guts fight back. Half of my finger is limply hanging. It wouldn't be much use to be holding a wand, now would it?

"Hello, Blood Traitor," a deep voice greeted calmly.

The hairs on the back of my neck raised. Whoever was standing in front of me, was not someone pleasant. I had a hunch that it was a Slytherin. Blood Traitor isn't a normal greeting to be coming from a Hufflepuff. I couldn't talk. I was so scared. I knew about the curses and hexes this person could have learned if they were from Slytherin. Dark magic is practically religion in their families.

I jumped when I heard his footsteps edging closer to me. My neck involuntarily jerked back, wanting desperately to get away from this person. He could tell I was scared. It's like I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Answer, Meadowes. I know you're there," he said, sick pleasure evident in his words, "I have some cool new spells I'd like to show you."

Still clutching my bleeding finger, I began to slowly back up. Whoever it was standing with me, noticed this and began to follow me. Before I knew it, my back bumped against the wall. My stomach dropped when I realized that he had wanted to corner me like this. I had been trapped.

"No escape now," he whispered in my ear.

His warm breath hit against my ear, making me sick to my stomach. My breaths were coming out all shaky. I felt the smooth tip of his wand being pressed into my side. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this mess.

"MEADOWES! Where are you!" an annoyingly familar voice called in irritation.

My stomach leaped at the sound of Black's voice. Relief washed over me and I knew that I'd be safe. I was never so happy to see Sirius Black in my life. I saw his figure in the corridor where it wasn't so dark. He squinted his eyes when he saw the blob that was the boy and myself.

"I'm over here," I choked out.

When he recognized my voice, he jogged over. It was only when he got closer that he noticed the boy hovering over me in a threatening manner. His facial features took on several emotions at once. His eyes looked darker than they normally did.

"What are you doing here?" Black snarled, thrusting my attacker against the wall.

"Just having a little fun with the girl," the other boy responded.

"Why don't you go crawling back to hole in the ground you came from?" Black snapped.

"That's not a very nice way to speak to your little brother, is it, Sirius?" he mocked.

I was surprised when he said this. It was Sirius's brother? Hell, I didn't even know Sirius had a brother. It's rather frightening that there's two of them...Merlin knows that we only need one Black running around this place. His brother seems different than him. Sure, I'm afraid of Sirius when he's angry, but not when he so much as speaks to me. That is a whole different level of fear.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Black asked bitterly.

"Herbology is useless," he answered carelessly, although still seeming intimidating all the same.

"Wouldn't mother love to hear that her perfect Regulus is skiving off classes? I'm sure she'd love to hear how you're tainting the honorable, noble name of Black," Sirius said, never breaking eye contact with his brother.

"No stain will ever be bigger on the Black family tree than the one you left after you were sorted into Gryffindor," the brother retorted.

"Get back to class before I get the Head Boy to give you a dentention," Black growled at his brother.

Regulus gave his brother one more look of resentment before stalking off in the direction of the greenhouses. I couldn't help but stare at Black. From the way he talked, I'm going to take a wild guess that he isn't on the best of terms with his family. I don't know why it never occured to me before. All Blacks are sorted into Slytherin, with the exception of a few who are most likely shunned. I felt a little guilty that I had so quickly stereotyped Sirius as being like his family.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Black questioned.

"No," I mumbled.

"C'mon," he sighed, grabbing my arm and leading me to the hospital wing.

I couldn't help but notice that his grip wasn't as tight. I was still staring at him intently as he continued to drag me to the hospital wing. I had a strange kind of respect for him now, but yet, I still was itching to tell him off. I didn't need him to come running in and save me. I'm not completely helpless. Although, my wand hand was impaired and I was scared out of my wits. I guess I'll just have to bite my tongue for now.

After Madam Pomfrey mended my finger and scolded me for being careless, she sent us back to class. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't have the normal urge to rip him limb from limb. OK, I can't necessarily say that because I was still a little irritated that he had to run in like a knight in shining armor and save me from his brother.

"You're not bad like this," Black commented.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"When you're not speaking and saying mean things, your company is enjoyable," he said.

"Oh...er...is that an insult or a compliment?" I questioned.

"A compliment," he decided, just as all the classes were letting out.

"You're not bad when you're not snogging some airhead in front of everyone," I told him.

"That can easily be changed," he smirked, but upon seeing my glare, added, "Just kidding, just kidding. No need to hurt me."

"Haha," I said dryly, "Well, I have Divination next, so I'll just be going."

I was waiting for him to say something like that. Good thing I'm getting away from him. My walking sped up, wanting to get as far away from him as possible before I caused him any bodily harm.

"Wait, wait, wait!" he yelled, "I have that too! Don't you ever pay attention to who is in your classes?"

"No, I generally pay attention to the teacher," I replied smartly.

"No, you don't! You sleep every day in that class!" he argued.

"Same difference," I muttered, "Besides, I bet you sleep too."

"I might," he mumbled scratching the back of his neck.

"That's what I thought," I replied smugly.

We climbed the ladder to the stuffy little room. The scent is really overpowering in here. I took a seat on my pouf, getting ready to take a nap when Black plopped down beside me. It didn't exactly register in my mind right away what was happening.

"Er...why are you sitting here?" I asked.

"That other girl is kind of creepy and wheezes," he answered.

"So? Maybe you're kind of creepy," I retorted.

"I don't wheeze though," he laughed, "Don't make me go back there."

"Fine, but leave me be," I muttered and dropped my head, getting ready to nap.

My eyes began to droop and I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep. Within minutes I was out, dead to the world, in a comatose like sleep. I began to have this weird dream. Black was in it. I knew it was weird because for one thing, I was calling him Sirius. We were sitting in the common room alone at night by the fire. I felt...attracted to him. It didn't seem like I was myself in this dream. Neither did he. Our eyes locked and my stomach did strange fluttery things. Both of us leaned in, our lips were centimeters apart when I was jerked out of my dream by something cold and wet.

"Good morning," the Divination teacher said coldly.

I didn't remember where I was right away. I saw her raised wand and knew that she had shot the water at us. I looked over at Black. His eyes were still heavy and his hair was mussed. As soon as I saw him, I remembered my dream. It was a little unsettling.

"Detention, both of you, tonight," she snapped before turning on her heel.

"Thanks, Black," I growled.

"It wasn't my fault! You were sleeping too!" he spat.

"Your snoring probably got us caught," I argued.

He didn't have anything to say to that one. He glared at me and settled back down, getting ready to go back to sleep. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Detention with Black tonight. It's going to be a blast. Note the bitter sarcasm.

--------------------

"No magic!" I cried.

"No magic," Filch confirmed, a sick smile on his face.

Filch gave one last cackle and left. Black and I were stuck in the girl's bathroom. We had to scrub it down...without our wands. I want to strangle him so bad right now. I really do. This is going to take forever!

"Don't get detentions often, Meadowes?" Black asked, smirking.

"I, unlike yourself, do not enjoy getting in trouble," I snapped.

I grabbed a scrub brush and began to clean the floors. Really, is is necessary that we clean the entire bathroom? There is a reason we don't live like muggles! We have magic! Why, oh, why don't we use it! This is cruel and unusual punishment!

"I can't believe you got me in detention," I growled.

"Stop blaming me. You were fast asleep too!" he argued, "This is why you're so bloody hard to be around! You have got to be one of the unhappiest people I have ever had the misfortune to meet!"

I didn't have anything to say right away. He thought I was unhappy? I don't know why, but this had an effect on me. My eyes burned and itched, but the only thing I could think to do was yell back at him.

"At least I'm not a rude jerk who continually uses people with no regard as to how it affects them, but only thinks of the benefits that he gets himself! At least I have a little decency, unlike yourself!" I shouted.

"_I'm_ rude?" he asked, almost laughing, "That's rich coming from you! You have got to be the meanest, most heartless girl in this school!"

I had nothing to say to him after that. No angry words, witty comeback, or anything

My knuckles were white from the grip I had on my scrubbing brush. I hurled it back into the bucket of soapy water before storming out of the lavatory. I made sure to slam the door as hard as I could.

By the time I had arrived at the common room, my eyes were watering. As I stomped up the steps to the dormitories, I ran into Lily. As soon as she saw me, she looked concerned.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing. I'm fine," I said shortly and continued my way up the steps.

I collapsed onto my bed and mulled over what Black had said to me. Was I really that mean? Or was he just exaggerating? I didn't want to be known as the meanest girl in Hogwarts. I like to make fun of her! Susan, from Ravenclaw, has got to be the meanest person to walk the face of the earth. Her eyebrows are shaped funny and make her look like she's constantly scowling. It's very amusing. Her eyebrows are really bushy too, although the three inch thick glasses obscure the view. She likes to stick her nose and unnaturally huge eyebrows in the air when she struts down the corridors. She walked into a door once and I've never let her forget. I mean seriously, it was-Oh Merlin, I _am_ mean!

What has become of me! How did I get so mean! I feel horrible now. It's really depressing to know that I'm the meanest girl in Hogwarts. Where's Lily? I need her to cheer me up. I peered down the stairs and didn't see her. I guess I'll have to improvise.

I grabbed my wand and walked over to the mirror. I transfigured a hairbrush and used a quick spell. I grinned at my appearance and promptly walked into the door. I was doubled over in laughter when my three inch thick glasses fell off my face. It doesn't take much to amuse me.

I thoughtfully stroked my Susan-like eyebrows as I sat. That was so totally a free ticket to hell...

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**A/N-**I finally got to update! Sorry it took forever. I had to do my ginormous HLA final. I was going to update last Friday (which was my birthday) but it was decided by the parental units that it was going to House Appreciation Day(cleaning)...which frequently stops my normal updating. It seems like I'm the only one who gets to experience of the joy of House Appreciation Day. I'll attempt to update my other fics too, but no promises. **Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-**I'm not rich and my name's not J.K. Rowling.

**Thanks SOOOO much for all the reviews! I really, really love them! (almost as much as I love the people who write them!)**

**Chapter 4-**

"Courtney! You're doing it again!" Lily screeched at me when she found me petting my Susan-eyebrows.

"What?" I questioned.

"That is so mean! Imagine what that poor girl would feel like if she found out you made fun of her all the time," she scolded.

Oh, bloody hell, there it is again! Even my own best friend thinks I'm mean! I groaned and rolled over on the floor. It's not nice to know that you're a mean person. Well, at least I can relate to Black now. ARGH! Bugger! I did it again!

I need to do something. Maybe I'll go take a stroll. It's best that I go by myself so I can't be mean. I really need to break this habit. No wonder people look like they're afraid of me all the time. Stupid Black probably spread the word that I'm as friendly as a Horntail.

"I'm going on a walk," I said, grabbing my cloak.

Lily was about to open her mouth, most likely to accompany me but I gave her a look. She knows the 'look'. It normally indicates that I want to be by myself. It worked quite well as she nodded her head and sat on her bed. Once I was satisfied that she wasn't upset and she had pulled out her novel, I left.

I hopped down the steps and left the common room. I hurried through the corridors until I was outside. It was dark and the only light was coming from the stars and a little sliver of the moon. I sighed and walked over to the tree Lily and I had been sitting at a few days before. I layed on my back and looked at the stars. I've never been the kind of person to go out of my way to look at the sky...at least not now. I used to love looking at the stars. It was like breathing. I haven't done this in about ten years because I guess you could say that I'm angry with the sky. Tonight was different though. I let go of the grudge.

I never realized how long it's been since I've really taken the time to look at the night time sky. I used to look at it all the time when I was younger. Every night I'd search that dark sky for a shooting star, just one was all I needed. I had the absurd idea that maybe if I wished on it that I might meet him, or at least learn his name. I never found that shooting star though. Maybe that's why I haven't bothered to look at the stars in such a long time. Maybe that's why I've had a grudge against the sky. It refused to give me that one shooting star. I didn't want to be let down, to have that hope shattered when after night after night I still didn't find my star. I guess in a way it's better that way. The idea truly was absurd. It wouldn't bring me any closer to meeting him.

I heard the blades of grass swishing together and knew that somebody was coming. I had no idea who would be coming out here at this time of night. It didn't seem to bother me though. It could be Black's brother coming back to kill me and I could care less. Or it could be my Prince Charming coming to carry me away to a lovely castle. I couldn't help but giggle silently to myself. That's Lily's idea. She always reads those stupid romance novels where the perfect guy always saves the day and the characters fall so deeply in love that it's painfully sappy. I hate those books. None of it is true...at least not in the real world. I let Lily keep that fantasy that someday she'll meet a guy like that.

I heard an angry grunt and a rock plunking into the lake. It was either my murderer or my one true love. The figure was tall and gangly. OK, so maybe it's not either of those. I wonder if they're just going to keep walking or what because they're heading straight for me.

"Umph!"

I watched the person hit my legs, stumble, and desperately try to catch themselves. It just didn't work. They're face totally smashed into the ground in the most comical way possible. They just layed there, spread eagle, groaning and cursing into the grass.

Whoever is out here with me isn't exactly graceful. They must not have seen my legs which I find very amusing. I'm not even going to stop my laughter this time. Let the mean-ness flow! I will laugh at this person's expense! Injuries like that are just too good to pass up.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Is that you, Meadowes?" Potter asked bitterly.

"Potter, that was, and I really mean it, the best face plant I've ever seen in my life," I laughed, clutching my stomach.

He was still sprawled out beside me. I could see that his glasses were cracked because the dim moonlight reflected off of them. He gave a frustrated snort when he found the damaged spectacles. I couldn't help but feel a bit bad.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" he snapped, getting up and repairing his glasses.

"I might ask you the same thing," I retorted calmly.

"Just a little upset," he answered vaguely, "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in detention with Sirius?"

Hehe...Oops. I guess I kind of forgot that they're best mates. Merlin! I hope he doesn't report me to McGonagall! I'd lay a knut on the odds that tonight he's going to decide to act all Head Boy-ish and take responsibility just because he doesn't like me. Maybe if I just play it cool, he'll let me off. Just don't panic and snap at him.

"I guess we're out here for the same reason then," I commented truthfully.

"Did you guys have a row again?" he questioned, laying on his back next to me.

"Of course," I laughed bitterly, "He can't ever seem to leave me alone. He's always commenting on how mean and unhappy I am. I guess it just really gets to me."

"He does have a particular fondness for picking fights with you," Potter muttered.

For the second time today, I felt bad for stereotyping someone. I had automatically assumed that Potter would be just like Black and snap at me. It's surprising that he's actually seeing the situation from my perspective.

"I just don't know what I ever did to make him hate me so much," I said, running my hands through my hair in frustration.

"Hate is a bit of a strong word, don't you think?" he asked.

I didn't answer him. I really appreciated him listening to me and not being an arse, but I don't even talk about this with Lily. I try not to even think about it. I try to ignore Black and forget that he exsists. It's easier that way.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" I questioned, changing the subject.

"Lily," he sighed.

"Ah, of course. I should have seen that one coming," I laughed.

"She won't even give me a chance. She just brushes me off like an annoying fly or something. She has no idea how much I like her," he moaned, sounding like a girl.

"I think you need to try a different approach with her," I suggested.

"Like what? I've tried everything! Nothing will work with her! She's impossible! What do those other stupid prats have that I don't?" he whined.

"They," I stopped and paused, "Actually, I have no idea. They've all been self-absorbed weenies in my opinion."

He snorted at this. We were silent for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence or anything. We just stared at the stars. Maybe he was looking for a shooting star too. I looked over at him and noticed that he was staring at me.

"Do you have fuzzy caterpillars nesting above your eyes?" he asked curiously.

"Er...no...why?" I said, feeling my face.

"It looks like it," he commented, poking my eyebrows, "It's like they have a life of their own."

As James was marveling over the 'caterpillars', I tried to think of what he was talking about. I mean honestly, who has caterpillars nesting where their eyebrows should be? Merlin! It's the Susan-eyebrows! I totally forgot about the bloody things! I scrambled around for my wand. ARGH! I lost it!

"My wand! Where's my wand!" I cried, frantically searching the ground.

"You look a bit like that girl from Ravenclaw, that real nasty one," he continued, blatantly ignoring my panic, "Oh, bugger, I know her name, I can't remember it though. The one who ran into the door? Ah, Susan! Yes! That's it."

"I need my wand! I forgot to get rid of them! I can't go back into the castle like this!" I whined.

"You mean, you purposely did that to yourself?" he laughed.

"Shut up," I growled, "Merlin! This must be my payback for making fun of her."

"Here, I can get them back to normal for you," Potter said, getting his wand.

I eyed him warily. I didn't know whether to trust him or not. I guess he's not all that bad with this kind of stuff. It's not like he's going to set them on fire or anything. The worst that could happen is getting my eyebrows singed a bit.

"Fine," I mumbled.

He screwed up his face and sent the spell flying at me. As soon as he did, his eyes got really big. Oh no. Oh no. OH NO! What did he do! He smiled nervously at me. My hands flew to my face and frantically searched for my smooth eyebrows. All I felt was skin. THEY AREN'T THERE ANYMORE! My eyebrows are gone!

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" I shrieked.

"It was an accident!" he argued, still looking thunderstruck.

"I am eyebrow-less now!" I whimpered, slumping against the tree.

"They'll...er...grow back," Potter said weakly.

"Never a dull moment around you, is there?" I muttered, smiling despite of myself.

----------------------

**Sirius's POV**

"Stupid, bloody Meadowes," I muttered, scrubbing the last sink.

I sat down on the floor and wiped the hair away that was sticking to my forehead. My arms ached from all the scrubbing. I was used to only doing half of the work. Normally James helps because I normally get in trouble with him...not stupid, moody Meadowes.

I tossed the scrub brush into the bucket and left. I stalked up to the common room, cursing stupid Courtney Meadowes all the way. She just left me with all that work left to do! The girl despises me! It was totally unfair. If it weren't against every bit of Marauder in me, I'd tell McGonagall. I climbed in through the portrait hole and stopped dead. Two people were on top of each other on the couch. Really, these people need to find broom closets!

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked.

"I've never done this before. What if we mess up? Imagine what people would say" she said nervously.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. People do it all the time," he insisted.

Bloody hell. It's Prongs...and he's straddling Meadowes! My jaw felt like it dropped about ten feet and I had a weird feeling. My stomach twisted uncomfortably I can't believe he'd do this to me! What does he think he's doing with her!

"Oi! Prongs! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped, the words coming out a little more fierce than I intended them to.

I stormed over to them, ready to give both of them a piece of my mind because...er...they shouldn't be doing that on the common room couch. I halted abruptly when he turned to me with a stick of eyeliner poised in his hand. OK, now I'm really confused. If they're doing what I think they're doing, why the hell do they have eyeliner?

"Do these look crooked to you, Padfoot?" he asked, pointing to Meadowes.

I took a step closer and peered down at her. She looked distraught and very uncomfortable...and with drawn on eyebrows...which were very, very crooked. I gave James a questioning look which was met with a distressed one. I took the hint.

"Er...yeah...straight as...straight should be," I said weakly.

"That's a relief. I didn't want to walk around with really crooked eyebrows until I could get to the hosptial wing to get them re-grown," Meadowes laughed.

"Why exactly don't you have eyebrows?" I asked, not being able to tear my eyes away from the bizarre eyebrows.

"To make a long story short, James made them disappear somehow," she replied.

"James, eh? Since when are you two on a first name basis?" I questioned sharply, narrowing my eyes a bit.

"Don't start, Black," she warned.

"Huh. Real scarey, Meadowes. You're what, maybe 5'4 and I'm 5'11," I smirked.

"Stop being arrogant," she spat.

"As soon as you start being a nice, pleasant, well-mannered girl," I said evenly with sarcasm dripping off of every word.

"You are truly impossible to be around," she snapped, pushing James off of her.

Her grey eyes narrowed at me before she turned on her heel. I watched her moodily stomp up the steps to her dormitory with satisfaction. As soon as I saw her black hair whip around the corner, I started on James.

"What were you doing with her?" I asked accusingly.

"We were just outside talking," he shrugged.

"You mean snogging," I bit back.

James looked taken aback by this. Really, he can't play stupid with me. I know what he was up to with Meadowes.

"What's your problem, Padfoot? You've been short with everyone since the start of term last week. What's got you angry this time?" James questioned shortly.

"I'm mad now because you-you've been hanging out with _her_," I growled, my voice rising a bit.

"Is she your property now?" he asked, smirking at me.

"No! I can't stand her! It's bad enough that Moony talks to her," I groaned.

"You're jealous," he said, laughing a little.

"Why the hell would I be _jealous?_ That's ridiculous!" I argued.

"You have a crush on Courtney," James said smugly.

"Yeah, right. Why would I even look twice at Meadowes when every other girl in this school is ten times more attractive?" I questioned.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me? I'd really like to know seeing as your eyes are glued to the back of her head every day in Charms," he replied.

"I do not stare at her!" I cried indignantly.

Oh Merlin. Do I really stare at Meadowes? What if I am, in some twisted sense, attracted to her? Nooo! What if other people notice? I don't. But what if I do it subconsciencely and don't realize I'm doing it? I can't believe this!

"Padfoot, why is your face all red?" James asked.

"Er...a little tired. I think I'm going to bed," I replied.

I started up the stairs, still thinking about what Prongs said, and, of course, panicking. It's just not a good situation. It's Meadowes! How could this be happening? It's impossible. It has to be. I was almost at the door when James called up to me.

"Sirius, I made that up," he said.

I was able to hear the amusement in his voice, along with a smug satisfaction that he tricked me.

Relief washed over me. Thank Merlin it was a joke.

------------------------

**A/N-**That different point-of-view was refreshing, don't you think? I'd once again like to thank all of you who reviewed! It means a lot. I'll try to update again soon, but it most likely won't happen for a while. A lot of people that read my other fic are about ready to chop my head off if I don't update soon, so that's on my to-do list. And I will be heading off to the Outer Banks in ten days (my dear cousin, Kenz3B, in the giant group of family going...cough-readherfic-cough-itrocks-cough) so I probably won't update this before that. But please, please, please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-**Do I look like a kajillionaire to you?

**Thanks for all the reviews! They keep me motivated!**

**Chapter 5-**

Sirius Black has to be the most annoying person on the face of the earth. He's so bloody arrogant! He's been strutting around the castle all day long. Everytime he passes me, there's a new girl draped over him. He smirks at me when he passes too! I think he's expecting to get some sort of reaction out of me. Well, he did. Pure disgust. I expect him to be passing any moment now. He ought to be coming from Charms. You may be wondering why _I_ am not coming from Charms, seeing as I have the same classes as the prat. Well, let's start at the beginning of breakfast.

_"Black, pass the toast," I mumbled tiredly._

_"Sure thing," he said, silently laughing and giving me odd looks._

_"What are you laughing at?" I snapped, glaring at him._

_"Oh, nothing," he replied, an annoying grin still plastered on his face._

_"Remus, did you understand what we learning about in Transfiguration the other day?" I asked, ignoring Black's stare._

_"Er...yes...it was...quite simple," he said, staring at my forehead, furrowing his brow and squinting his eyes._

_"Is there something wrong?" I questioned politely._

_"It's my eyes. Your eyebrows look like-like a toddler drew them on," he answered, laughing at his own statement and shaking his head._

_"They do? Why would they-" I stopped mid-sentence._

_It all came back to me. The spell. The missing eyebrows. The eyeliner. Black said they were straight! Merlin, why didn't I look in the mirror before I left! I picked up a spoon and looked at my reflection. ARGH! One eyebrow is about an inch shorter than the other one and there's about a two inch height difference in them! I felt like I was looking into one of those fun house mirrors that muggles have at the circus! Those stupid idiots! I turned to Black and glared at him._

_"You said they were straight," I growled._

_"I did?" he asked, a very pleased smile on his face._

_"Yes, you did," I answered sweetly, pausing, I added stiffly, "I am going to hurt you."_

_I immediately shoved him off the seat without any warning._

_"Hey! I wasn't the one who drew them on! It's James's fault, not mine!" he protested, rubbing his bottom._

_"He has impaired vision," I countered._

_"He has glasses! He can see perfectly fine!" Black argued fiercely, "I think you're the spawn of satan, the way you act sometimes."_

_"You are so rude to me," I said._

_"It's because he fancies you," James said, elbowing me playfully._

_"Aww, does Sirius have a crush on me?" I teased, playing along._

_"No, I do not have a crush on you," he snapped, his face turning steadily redder._

_"You're blushing, Black!" I laughed._

_"No, I'm not," he muttered._

_"Padfoot, you look like a cherry," Remus chuckled._

_"Meadowes, I'd go get those eyebrows fixed if I were you. People are staring," Black said bitterly._

_My eyes widened and my hands flew up to cover my eyebrows. I hurried off to the hospital wing, only to be interrogated by Madam Pomfrey about how I managed to lose my eyebrows. I had to drink funny tasting potion and would have to come back between all my classes to take more of it so I could have my beloved eyebrows back by the end of the day._

I guess Black is desperately trying to prove to me that he has no interest in me. I could have told him that. For being a 'prankster', he really can't take a joke. I rolled my eyes when Black stode up to me, looking all high and mighty.

"Salutations, Meadowes," he greeted.

"Do you even know what that means?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Moony used it earlier," he shrugged.

"Why do you guys all have those bizarre nicknames?" I questioned.

"Tsk, tsk, Meadowes! No need to be nosy," he replied.

"What miracle has come upon me today that I should be graced with you presence?" I wondered sarcastically.

"Do I need a reason to chat with an old friend?" he asked innocently.

I raised my eyebrow at him...well, what was grown in. Old friend? I snorted out loud. Black and I haven't exactly had a glamorous past. Ever since first year when taunted me about my 'ugly grey eyes' and the way my voice squeaked, we haven't been on the best of terms. I'd always come close to tears and then he would ask if I was going to 'run to my daddy and tell'. After third year, I miraculously grew a backbone and fought back. I don't think that really defines us as 'old friends', if you know what I mean.

"Please, just say what you need to say and leave. It will be less painful for us both," I said in a bored tone.

"Moony made me come apologize for being an arse to you," he said sincerely, "I guess I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," I replied briskly, and marched off to Transfiguration.

---------------

I sat up in the dormitory alone. Everyone else was eating their lunch but I had lost my appetite after that last dose of potion to get my eyebrows back. I decided that I didn't feel like getting badgered by Black and Lily was in a foul mood. So here I am, bored and alone. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. I gave in to temptation.

I hopped up from the floor and walked over to my bed. I got on my hands and knees to retrieve an old, battered scrap book hidden under my bed. The once-emerald cover was beginning to fade and the silver letters were almost gone. I flipped through the worn pages, looking for clues. I stopped every once and while to read things over but after a few minutes, I gave up. I sighed and slumped down to the floor, holding the scrap book to my chest. Maybe I was meant to be forever kept in the dark. Maybe I wasn't supposed to find him.

"Oi! Meadowes! Get down here!" Black called, interrupting my thoughts.

Oh joy. My 'old friend' must want another chat.

"Bugger off, Black," I yelled.

"Evans wants you to meet her in the library," he shouted to me.

I grumbled as I pulled on some shoes and hastily shoved the scrap book back under my bed. I trotted down the steps and hopped through the portrait hole. I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated when I heard Black padding along behind me.

"Why are you following me?" I asked sharply.

"I'm going to the library too! We're all having a study session! You, me, Prongs, Evans, Moony, and Wormtail!" he said cheerfully.

"I have been blessed with his presence again," I said to myself dryly.

"Oh, perk up, Meadowes! You're always so negative. Maybe some of my positivity will rub off on you!" he said excitedly.

"Is positivity even a word?" I asked, raising my now fully grown eyebrow at him.

"You raise your eyebrow a lot," he commented, then added, "They grew in quite nice."

"Er...thanks," I said awkwardly.

"...and straight," he sniggered.

"If I had the energy, I would push you down those steps," I told him coldly.

"You're violent," Black laughed.

"Merlin, where the hell is the library?" I cried desperately, "I am steadily growing stupider!"

"What? Why?" he questioned, confused.

"It's just a side effect of being in your presence," I shrugged, finally spotting the library.

"Haha," he said sourly.

We walked into the library and found it to be empty except for a few Hufflepuff third years. I knew it couldn't be a prank because Black looked confused as well. I wandered around some of the tables. I had this feeling that I was being watched. It was beginning to scare me a bit.

"GOTCHA!" James screamed, grabbing me around the waist.

"ARRRRRRGGGGGH!" I shrieked.

I couldn't see him, but I felt his grip. I began to kick and thrash around wildly, trying to escape.

"Let go of me, you fiend!" I yelled.

"Shut up before Pince-oh bugger," he groaned.

"What is all this noise?" the librarian snapped, glaring at Sirius and I, the only visible people.

"Er..." I stalled.

"Out! Out with both of you! Your Head of House will be notified of this rule breaking!" she squawked.

"Great! You got us another detention, Meadowes," Sirius grumbled.

"Who said anything about detention?" I questioned.

"When she says that she's going to notify McGonagall, you are ensured a detention," he said evenly.

"The first detention was your fault anyway," I muttered.

Black opened his mouth to argue, when the rest of our 'study group' filed out of the library. I noted that James was now visible and had a rather glazed look in his eyes.

"Er...sorry about that," James laughed nervously.

"Yeah, James insisted on surprising you," Remus added.

"It's fine," I said.

I couldn't really stay angry at them. They are my friends after all. I couldn't help but notice that Lily wasn't scowling while in the presence of James! It's a sign of the apocalypse. She looked rather pleased.

"Courtney and I are going to go...er...study in our dormitory for that History of Magic test," she mumbled, pulling me along behind her.

"Bye, Lily," James called.

Lily's face flushed red and she started tugging on my arm harder. She quickened her pace and we soon found ourselves in the dormitory. As soon as the door creaked shut, a goofy grin spread across her face and she fell back on to her bed. Lily is never like this so I couldn't _not_ think: What is she smoking?

"What are you so happy about?" I asked, sitting on the side of her bed.

"It's the strangest thing," she said vaguely and giggled to herself.

"Oh, come on, spit it out," I said eagerly, grinning.

"I'm going to Hogsmeade next weekend with James," she burst out, a wider grin coming across her face.

I couldn't help but let my mouth open a little. This is the girl that has been denying him for years and finally, in our last year here, she accepts a date with him. Not only is she going on a date with him, she is ecstatic about it!

"Lily, that's wonderful!" I said.

"What am I going to wear?" she asked anxiously, jumping from her bed.

"Calm down, you still have all week," I laughed.

We chatted the night away, laughing and joking. We never got our History of Magic notes out. By the time it was ten, we crawled into our beds. After a few minutes I could hear her slow breathing and light snoring. I knew that sleep wouldn't come as easily to me. My mind is never clear enough to get a good nights sleep.

For quite a time, I was able to keep my mind off of him, but after a couple of nights ago, it's all I can think about. I wonder if he ever thinks about me or wants to meet me. I wonder if he even knows I exsist. There are too many possibilities. My head hurts just thinking about it. I rolled over and closed my eyes, falling into a fitful sleep.

--------------

**A/N-**Before you do anything, I ask that you please bear with me and endure this long author's note. For once, it actually contains important information! Hah! I am so proud of myself that I got another chapter done before I left for vacation...which is in a mere 13 hours...and I have yet to pack anything. I think that qualifies as procrastination. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this tidbit and instead of rambling about random things that do not pertain to the fic in any way, I would like to inform you of my future plans for this fic. If you've seen my profile or talked to me lately, I have probably constantly bragged that I planned ahead for this fic and have come up with something of a plot. This is an achievement for me. There is going to be an estimated 33 chapters with an epilogue, but the chapter numbers might be a little higher or a little lower. I don't plan on a sequel for this. I am insanely (and pathetically) excited about writing this and finishing it so you will probably see this fic updated the most. Anyway, that's all I can tell you for now. Oh, and has anyone picked up on the hints I've been dropping? **Please review** so that when I come back from the Outer Banks next week and am depressed because I'm not in North Carolina anymore the reviews will cheer me up! Questions are welcome about anything in this author's note!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer-Would it surprise you if I said that I don't own anything?**

**A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially those who asked me the questions that I have eagerly been waiting for! **

**Chapter 6- **

"C'mon, say it," Black taunted.

"Bugger off," I snapped, refusing to look at him.

"Say it, Meadowes," he repeated, an obnoxious grin on his face.

"No," I cried in frustration.

"Say it with me, Meadowes. You were right, I was wrong," he said, his smile growing.

"Stop being so childish," I retorted.

"You know you would be doing the same thing if you were in my shoes," he commented.

"What? Acting like an asinine jerk?" I questioned bitterly.

"Please, humor me, Meadowes?" he begged.

"NO!" I yelled.

"I'll shut up if you just say it," Black offered.

I stopped in my tracks and so did he. I stared him down for a few minutes. I sighed and after a pause, I gave in. The offer that Black might be quiet for a while was too good to pass up.

"You were right, I was wrong," I muttered sourly.

"Sorry, didn't quite hear that," he said, cupping a hand to his ear with an insufferable grin on his face.

"You were right, I was wrong," I repeated, grinding my teeth.

"Ah, there we go, Meadowes. That was music to my ears," he said happily, strolling down the corridor ahead of me.

"You're such an immature prat," I spat, trotting to catch up to him.

"Oh, come on! All day you've been chirping that Pince wasn't going to snitch on us and then when we _did_ get called to see McGonagall, you refused to believe that we would get detention. I think I deserved to hear you say those," he screwed up his face in concentration, "six little words," he finished in triumph.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Actually, I think I need to hear them again," he said smugly.

"Is that so?" I asked, raising my foot in a threatening manner towards his groin.

"I was just kidding! Ha...ha," he laughed nervously.

I raised my eyebrow at him and he grinned sheepishly.

"Hurry up or we're going to be late. You have got to be one of the slowest people on the face of the earth!" I said.

About a minute later, we tumbled through the door to McGonagall's room. She was sitting at her desk patiently waiting for our arrival. Sirius groaned when he spotted the two small desks lined up in front of McGonagall's big desk. Each of them had a quill, parchment, and an inkwell.

"Lines," Black grumbled.

"Yes, Black, lines. Over the next two hours, you and Miss Meadowes will repeatedly write 'I will not break rules' on your parchment," she said curtly.

"Real original on that one, eh?" he muttered.

"Excuse me, is there a problem, Mr. Black?" she asked, her lips becoming a thin line, "If there is, I assure you that I can make your assigned line more extravagant."

"There's no problem, Professor," I replied quickly, shooting Black a dirty look.

"Good," she said abruptly, "I will return shortly. I expect that you work diligently in my absence."

McGonagall strode out of the room and left us. I slumped down at my desk and sighed. This was going to be a long night. If it weren't bad enough that I had to do lines, possibly the most boring punishment known to man kind, I would be in the same room as Black. It must be some new trend this year. _Get detention with Black!_ Maybe I am subconsciously trying to make my life miserable.

I picked up my quill and started my lines. I'm not used to getting detentions and so I had naively thought that the detention we had last week, scrubbing the lavatory, was horrible. I was wrong. I prefer physical labor. This is quite mentally painful for me. It's very frustrating to be writing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. Your hand cramps too. I kept going though. By the time a half hour had passed, I had wrote 'I will not break rules' sixty times. I dropped my quill and stretched my hand. I looked up to see Black staring at me.

"Haven't you been doing your lines?" I asked shrilly.

"No, I haven't, goody two-shoes," he replied, smirking at me.

"It's your arse on the line, not mine," I shrugged returning to my lines.

After about twenty more times of writing that bloody sentence, I couldn't really keep focused. I started to space out and stare blankly at things. The battered scrap book came to my mind immediately. I could see the pictures that once belonged to my mother. After years and years of staring at these photographs, I could see them clearly in my mind, like they had been embedded there. I tried to find a link to my past in them. Anything. There was nothing that was helpful though. The newspaper articles seemed to be totally irrelevant and nobody in the pictures stuck out. I don't know why I still kept it when it was so useless.

"Meadowes," Black called softly.

I felt like someone poured ice water down my back when his voice yanked me out of my thoughts. I blinked in confusion a couple times before my eyes came to focus on him. He was waving a hand slowly in front of me from where he was sitting.

"I must have spaced out," I said, shaking my head.

"You looked like you were in some kind of trance," he commented.

"That's nice," I said, ignoring him.

I was very pleased when the only thing I could hear was the scratching of our quills. I was surprised that he was even doing his lines. After a few minutes, I could only hear one quill scratching away...and it was mine.

"Stop staring at me," I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Can I hypnotize you?" he asked, still staring at me.

"What?" I gaped.

"Can I hypnotize you?" he repeated, "It would be fun."

"No! That has to be the most idiotic idea I've ever heard," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Please?" he begged.

"No," I replied firmly.

"Why not? What harm is there?" he questioned.

"It wouldn't even work," I said.

"How do you know?" he argued harshly.

"Black," I growled.

"What?" he answered, glaring at me.

"Shut the hell up," I finished.

I tried to start writing my lines again but it was difficult. I find it rather distracting when someone swings a knut on a string in front of my face...especially when the string is attached to the knut by some old gum. I glared at him and was pleased when he tucked it away.

"You're getting sleepy," he whispered with a bizarre foreign accent.

The knut was once again swaying back in forth a mere inch from my face. I continued to slap it away with no avail. It kept returning. Black also added a low humming noise in between his little mantra.

"You're getting sleepy-hmmmmmm," he said, "You're getting sleepy-hmmmmmm-you're getting-"

"Sleepy. Yes, I know," I finished dryly.

"You're just too narrow minded to allow yourself to get hypnotized," Black said.

"What ever happened to you shutting up?" I asked.

"I don't seem to recall saying anything about shutting up," he answered.

"Don't you remember? When we were in the corridor on our way here?" I questioned.

"Oh, yes, I remember that now," he said happily, "You said that you were wrong."

He was silent after that. It was very irritating though because he kept grinning. Again, I must say that he is so childish. McGonagall returned shortly after our argument and then we were freed. Before Black could even get out of his seat, I was gone. I really didn't want to be in his presence any longer than it was required.

-------------

Today in Charms, I can only sympathize with the poor girl that is sitting behind Black. He has turned around and is now swinging a knut in front of her face. Hypnotism must be some weird phase he's going through. Although, to be honest, that girl doesn't look angry or anything. She's actually smiling. Merlin, does the female population of this school have no dignity!

"Courtney? Are you still with me?" Remus asked sharply.

"Huh?" I said stupidly.

"If you're done staring at Sirius, then I'd like to see last Friday's notes," he said impatiently.

"I was not staring at _him_," I snapped.

"Right, well, the notes," he reminded me.

"Where were you anway?" I questioned, searching through my bag.

"Oh, you know, my mum was little ill and needed some help around the house for a couple days," he replied stiffly.

I couldn't help but notice that what he said was all too familiar. He had told me this on different occasions. I knew what he was telling me was a lie, but I knew Remus. He had a reason. He's just that kind of person, always having some secret reason behind everything he does. I must admit that he's very clever and rather mysterious.

"Right, well, here," I said, handing him the crumpled notes.

"Do you doodle on _everything_?" he asked, examining the parchment.

"That is no mere doodle, Remus," I whispered, trying to sound wise.

"Oh, really, it looks to me like a normal doodle...one in which Sirius has his head in the guillotine," he replied, smiling at my art work.

I grabbed my wand and pointed it at the parchment. The blade dropped and the doodle Sirius's head rolled away with its eyes wide in a rather comical manner. His head then sprouted legs and walked over to the body, plopping itself right back on his neck, waiting to be chopped off again. I couldn't help but laugh at my own drawing.

"There's definitely a few loose screws in your head," Remus muttered, beginning to copy the notes.

"It was funny though," I giggled.

"Amusing, but sick and twisted," he said, still grinning a bit.

"I know," I said, smiling.

"Sometimes you're so much like him it's scarey," he murmured.

"Hmm?" I asked, "Didn't hear you."

"Nothing," he answered, still smiling.

---------------

"Lily?" I whispered, "Are you up?"

"Yeah," she whispered back.

"What do you think Remus is doing when he disappears all the time?" I questioned.

"He's visiting his sick mum," she replied.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked harshly.

"Yes, why shouldn't I?" she snapped.

"Don't you think it's a little suspicious that his mother gets sick nearly every month?" I inquired.

"Well, I suppose it is a bit strange, but not entirely impossible," she said.

"Sometimes he comes back with big scratches. He looks tired too. How can you explain that?" I asked.

"He probably has to help his mum a lot," she answered.

"But what about the cuts and scratches? Do you think his mother has an ill-tempered cat?" I questioned sarcastically.

There was a long pause. The only thing I could hear was Lily chewing on her hair. It's a disgusting habit of hers. She always does it when she's thinking hard.

"Have an answer yet, Sherlock?" I asked smartly, knowing that she didn't.

"Go to sleep," she mumbled moodily.

I sighed and rolled over. That's just the way Lily is. Whenever she can't answer you, she tells you to bugger off. She hasn't quite come to terms yet with the fact that she doesn't know everything. I stared at the ceiling, trying to occupy my mind by counting the thin little cracks. I tried to think about other things too, but my mind still managed to find its way back to that exhausted subject.

I always imagined that one day he would show up at the door, coming to take me away to some wonderful house where everything would be alright. It never happened though. Here I am, in my final year at Hogwarts, and he has still remained a mystery to me. I won't have to wait for him to take me away any more though. I'll be able to leave after this year myself. I won't need to have anyone to look after me. I can walk out the door and it will all be just a bad memory. I won't ever have to endure it again.

For the first time in ages, I fell asleep peacefully with a smile on my face.

------------------------------------

**A/N-**Sorry if the spacing or anything was kind of not normal but my computer was misbehaving and I had to upload this from somewhere else and the spacing got really out of whack. Again, thanks for all the reviews! A hug to everyone that asked questions! I have been waiting for someone to catch on to all the stuff I've been deliberately leaving out. Now, does anyone have an idea about what she is talking about and what is troubling her? I know the story is moving kind of slow right now, but don't worry. After the next chapter, things start moving faster and you'll find out more about her past. Little by little, you'll find out more. Believe me when I say this: You will not find out some key things until the end. But rest assured that the fic will have more to it than it does right now and that I'm just kind of setting it up so to say. Please review and tell me what you think is going on!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer-**I'm too tired to say anything slightly interesting. I don't own HP...like that's a surprise.

**Thanks for the reviews! Please review this chapter, I know there are plenty of people reading but hardly anyone is reviewing!**

**Special thanks to Mandy for motivating me to get this chapter up despite my lack of response for the last one!**

**Chapter 7-**

I hate Transfiguration. You can't sleep in Transfiguration. You can't daydream in Transfiguration. You can't pass notes in Transfiguration. You can't chat in Transfiguration. About the only thing you _can_ do in Transfiguration, is transfigure things. Who would have guessed that one?

I almost forgot another endearing quality of this brilliant class. We get to be chummy with the Slytherins. They are quite a vivacious bunch...Note the sarcasm. I really don't know how they find all the energy to scowl like that all the time. When a Slytherin enters a room, it's almost like you can feel the hatred and animosity radiating off of them.

Today my Slytherin chum is Lucius Malfoy. He is in a rather pleasant mood today. He tripped Peter when he walked by us, causing the poor boy to smack his face off of a desk. Then he sneered at James and Remus everytime they so much as looked in our general direction. Now he's gawking at me like I just grew a second head...then again, with his ability in this class, I might have. Transfiguration isn't really his forte.

"Staring is impolite, you know," I commented.

He didn't say anything. I would have figured that maybe he would have stopped staring, but apparently I was wrong. The boy obviously can't take a hint. I tried to ignore him. His sharp grey eyes seemed to be burning holes in me though. It was really getting on my nerves. I started to grind my teeth together. I gave him a dirty look and tried to concentrate on turning my mouse into a rabbit.

"Please, what are you staring at? Is there something on my face or are you just admiring my beauty?" I snapped in anger.

"Something like that," he replied vaguely, returning to his work.

"Elaborate, please," I said curtly, fixing my eyes on him.

"Just an observation," he said smoothly.

"What the hell do you think I am? A zoo animal?" I asked indignantly.

"Something like that," he said quietly in a steely voice.

"Bloody hell," I muttered, "You're a piece of work, Malfoy."

Transfiguration ended and I was relieved to get away from Malfoy. Hardly anyone had managed the spell, but my mouse had floppy ears and a fluffly tail. That's better than Peter's mouse...his was engulfed in flames near the end of class. He was terrified. I'll hear the agonizing squeaks of that poor rodent until my dying day.

"Courtney!" Lily called, jogging up to me in the corridor.

Her hair was a mess, she had books stacked up in her arms, and her vibrant green eyes held an unexplainable excitement. She always seemed to be frazzled these past few days. The girl is worried silly over her date with James on Saturday.

"Well, hurry up," I teased.

"Did you see the outfit I had laying out on my bed this morning? Do think it looks alright?" she asked anxiously.

"Merlin, Lily, calm down. I'm sure that whatever you wear, James will love it," I said soothingly.

"If you say so," she grumbled, obviously not satisfied with my answer.

We made our way to the Great Hall and took seats relatively close to the Marauders. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when a girl from Hufflepuff practically threw herself at Sirius. I'm surprised she can keep her eyes open with all that mascara. Then again, it wouldn't really matter because I don't think she can see past the large amount of eye liner that is surely obstructing her vision. It looks like she has painted her face. I would imagine that guys would find it rather unattractive, but blokes aren't known for their intelligence or taste, are they?

"Three knuts says that blondie over there won't last five days," I said to Lily.

"Deal," she agreed, chewing thoughtfully, "She'll definitely last at least six."

"Did you see Malfoy staring at me today in Transfiguration today?" I asked with distaste.

"Yes, it was almost like he was analyzing you," she replied, both of us searching for the said person.

"He creeps me out," I said and shuddered.

"He is a bit frightening," she agreed, "Most Slytherins are."

I was surprised when both James and Remus sat on either side of Lily and I.

"We couldn't stand to be around Padfoot and that ditz any longer," James muttered darkly, glaring at the girl.

"I wouldn't necessarily call her a ditz," Remus said, trying to be nice.

"I agree, Remus," I said, causing him to give me a startled look, "I think airheaded slut would be a better word."

He frowned at me. Remus always tries to be nice and to see the better qualities of people. I, on the other hand, desperately search for their unadmirable qualities and draw attention to them. I guess you could say that I'm negative. Growing up the way I did, it was inevitable though.

"He'll grow out of it soon," Remus sighed, shaking his head at his mate.

"What? Being immature? Pursuing anything with a chest bigger than his? Being a complete arse? You have to be exact here, Remus," I said.

"He's not as bad as you think," he said, still staring at his friend.

The girl was giggling like mad, her bleach white teeth fully exposed. Yeah, right, that shade of white is _totally_ natural. Peter was still with Sirius, raptly watching him and the girl. The boy seemed amazed at pretty much everything Black did.

"Oh, really," I laughed, hardly believing what he said, "You mean he's worse?"

"Give it a rest," James said tiredly, "You two are always saying nasty things about each other."

"Black's been talking dirt about me behind my back, has he?" I asked in interest, "I ought to go box him in the face right now."

"And you've never said anything bad about him, right?" questioned James sarcastically.

"Never," I grinned.

--------------------

"Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiily! Please don't leave me!" I begged, holding on to her leg.

"James and I must do our Head duties," she said sternly, trying to shake me off.

I looked across the common room in desperation. She was going to leave me here, all alone. Her and James will go off and have fun while I'll be stuck here. The only people I can talk to are going to be Remus and Peter. They're playing wizard's chess. It's a stupid game if you ask me...Especially if that means that I'm going to be ignored. Black is with them, but I'd rather like to avoid speaking to him.

"We all know that you two are probably just going to snog somewhere," Black commented, watching Lily drag me across the room.

"Black, you are so crude," I scolded, "But I have to agree with you. Don't leave me to go snog that prat!"

Her face reddened and she glared at me.

"We are going to be doing our Head duties," she said through clenched teeth, trying to unlatch my hands from her leg.

"Head duties my arse," Black snorted.

"Courtney, I'll hex you," Lily threatened.

I let go of her leg and slumped in defeat. I watched my best friend climb through the portrait hole with her soon-to-be boyfriend. I turned around to see Black sitting in his chair, smirking at me for reasons that are unknown. I decided to do what my Slytherin mates would do: I scowled.

In a way, it's ironic that Sirius Black, my enemy, brought Lily, my best buddy, and I together. The person I despise the most helped me make my best friend. When he teased me when we were younger, nobody ever stopped him because, well, he was Sirius Black, the king of cool. I was surely not the only one he teased, but I got it the worst. This was before he was brave enough to taunt Snape.

Lily stood up for me though. She finally told him off one day. It's all been history from there. She helped me quite a bit at that time in my life. I'm so different now than I was then. I never stood up for myself. Lily taught me how to...although, I've developed a bit of an attitude problem since then.

"Meadowes, you've got to be the strangest person I have ever met," Black said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Really? Because you're the most arrogant person I've met," I bit back.

"At least I don't space out on a regular basis like some people," he snapped, glaring at me.

"Remus," I whined, "Make him go away."

"I'm not the monster under your bed," Black said bitterly.

"You two are like little children, always bickering," Remus grumbled.

I glared at Remus.

"Don't make her angry," Peter whispered to Remus, "She scares me."

"She actually is a bit of a monster," Black whispered to Peter.

"You guys aren't very good whisperers," I whispered loudly, imitating them.

"So, any plans for Hogsmeade?" Remus asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

That's when it hit me. I won't have Lily for Hogsmeade. She'll be on her date. Merlin, what am I going to do? I don't want to drift around Hogsmeade all by myself. I'll look like Susan!

"I'm going with that girl from Hufflepuff I was chatting to this morning," Sirius said while making an odd sort of face.

"She seemed nice," Peter said weakly.

"Yeah, if you like endless babbling, but, you gotta do what you gotta do for a good snog these days," he said, sighing dramatically.

"You make me sick," I spat, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I can't say that I'm not feeling a bit queasy," Remus said, staring at his mate in disbelief.

"And you didn't want on her, Moony?" Black asked, laughing.

"What are you doing, Courtney?" Remus questioned, too disgusted to reply to Sirius.

"I'm not sure," I answered quietly.

"Don't you have a date, Meadowes?" Black smirked.

"No, I don't," I replied stiffly.

"Then again, who would want to take you? I've known dragons nicer than you," he commented.

"No, what you really mean is that because I don't wear short skirts, or have loads of make up on my face, or have a few too many buttons on my blouse undone, I can't get a date. Do you really think I'd even _want_ to spend the afternoon with a complete pig?" I snapped viciously.

"Believe me, Meadowes, no guy would want to take you on a date even if you did do those things," he assured me.

"Would you like to bet on that?" I questioned sharply, glaring at him.

"Three galleons says that not even one bloke asks you," Black challenged.

"Deal," I said coldly.

--------------

I woke up early this morning to make my preperations. Although, Lily still woke up about an hour before me, it still seems early, but that isn't the point! I am determined to show Black that he was wrong. I stole some of my room mate's make-up and layered it on like I had seen them do some many times before. I left the top three buttons on my blouse undone and rolled my skirt twice.

Perfect. I grinned-or at least tried to- at myself in the mirror, pleased with myself. I look just like all the other plastic zombies. I'm telling you, they must have fantastic muscles in their faces to be able to grin like that all the time.

I searched around to find any other things that I might use. I was satisfied when I found a _Witch Weekly_ that had a charm to whiten teeth in it. I knew that shade of white wasn't natural! Merlin, that charm is powerful. It practically created a glare it brightened my teeth so much. They said that it won't be as 'intense' as the hours go by. These girls must wake up at the crack of dawn everyday to do all this rubbish.

Well, here goes nothing.

------------------

**Sirius's POV**

I plopped myself down on the bench beside Prongs. He was happily chatting away with Evans. Merlin, the two of them have nearly been attached at the hip since she agreed to go to Hogsmeade with him. Moony was just about asleep in his breakfast while Peter shoveled pancakes in his mouth. The kid eats like a pig, but he does make it look good. I piled pancakes onto my plate too. While I was dousing them in syrup, I saw Remus do a double-take.

I followed his gaze and saw Meadowes.

"You have got to be kidding me," I muttered, staring at her.

She did it. She actually did it. She turned herself into the type of girl that she hates. I can't say it isn't an improvement though. I'd have to say that the rest of the male population agrees with me. I mean, she's not anything to drool over, but she doesn't look like a troll anymore.

Meadowes took a seat on the other side of Remus, probably to be across from her dear Evans. When Evans finally noticed that something was a bit off, she gave her a funny look.

"You look absolutely ridiculous," Lily hissed, trying not to draw attention.

Like that was going to do anything. There's about a thousand guys staring at her. It's nice to see a new arse every now and then.

"I know," she said, giving funny smiles to everyone looking at her.

"You look like you're in pain," James said, snorting into his juice.

"I have no bloody idea how girls can smile with all this make up on. It's really difficult," she muttered.

"I think you better practice some more," he laughed, snorting into his juice again.

"Bugger off, James," she said, "Hand me a muffin, Lily."

"Get it yourself," she replied, too busy stuffing her face while Prongs wasn't looking.

I really have no idea why Lily is afraid to eat in front of him. I mean really, the boy is currently trying to see how many muffins he can fit into his mouth before he chokes. Does that say anything to you?

"Thanks," Meadowes grumbled, reaching across for a muffin.

In my defense, I will say that I _am_ male and it was impossible for me _not_ to look down her shirt when she did this. The buttons were undone so it wasn't that difficult. The angle was perfect too. It was a pleasant sight and I think Moony and Wormtail would agree seeing as they're gawking too.

Er...is it just me or has she been reaching for that muffin for a while?

Oops?

"Black, stop being disgusting," she snapped, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"How come I get yelled at?" I protested.

"You were looking down my blouse!" she bellowed.

"Peter and Remus were too!" I argued.

"Don't try to blame them. They wouldn't do that, would you guys?" she asked them.

The little wankers vigorously shook their heads 'no'. I glared at them. I knew Peter would say he wasn't because he's dead terrified of her, but Remus? Hell, I didn't think he'd even look in the first place so it shouldn't have came as such a surprise.

I sat in a stony silence for a while, glaring at Meadowes, Wormtail, and Moony.

"Was it really that obvious?" I whispered to Moony.

"Well, after you made that sort of grunting noise it was," Meadowes smirked.

"I wasn't asking you," I replied bitterly.

"I told you yesterday that you were dreadful at whispering," she retorted sharply.

Have I mentioned lately that I cannot stand that girl?

------------------

**Later that day**

"Black!" I heard someone yell.

Meadowes. Ugh.

"Hey! Black! Wait up! You owe me three galleons!" she called.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. Meadowes had caught up to me, a Cheshire Cat smile on her face. Her blouse was buttoned back up, the skirt back to normal, and the make up had disappeared...well, kind of. The eye liner and mascara left a bit of a dark ring around her eye resulting in her resembling a raccoon.

"What?" I asked slowly.

"You owe me three galleons. The bet, remember?" she said, her grin growing even wider.

"Someone actually asked you? Tell me the name of this bloke so I can send him to an asylum," I laughed, trying to see if she was lying.

"Phillip Jacobs from Ravenclaw," she replied happily.

"That poor boy must have no taste. You just got lucky that someone asked you," I snorted.

"Yes, I got lucky about nine times today," she smirked.

Merlin, nine guys asked her? What is wrong with these people? Don't they know about her violent and psychotic tendencies?

"I'll have to verify that you actually have a date with this Jacobs character," I said, again trying to see if she was bluffing.

"Black, fork over the galleons before I smack you," Meadowes threatened.

I grumbled and dropped three galleons into her outstretched hands. She smiled cheerfully before flouncing off.

"Hey, Black," she yelled back.

"What?" I grumbled.

"Proving you wrong made my day," she replied, giggling as she turned the corner.

I can't stand that girl.

------------------------

**A/N-**Sorry for all the grammar errors and spelling errors, I was very tired while writing this (surprisingly this was the only time I could keep focused) and I guarantee that it isn't perfect. I'm human. Deal with it. I decided to focus a bit more on Sirius in this chapter so I hope the change was nice. I noticed that nobody seemed to review the last chapter...hmmm...Please, all you lurkers (and you know who you are) just leave me a review. I don't care if all that is says is 'you updated', obvious, but all the same letting me know that you've read it and cared to leave me a word or two about it...but, actually, to say that I updated would be too obvious, go for 'nice chapter' or something along those lines. PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer-**I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters recognized. They belong to J.K. Rowling.

**Thank you sooooo much! I was so happy to get all of the reviews for the last chapter! I really do appreciate every review!**

**Now, on with the chapter where some of your questions will be answered!**

**Chapter 8-**

"The Tornadoes will make a come back, I just know it. They've nearly got an entire new team this year. The keeper is amazing-" he continued excitedly.

Phillip Jacobs is not an exciting person by any means. We've been in the Three Broomsticks for almost an hour and the only thing I've heard about is quidditch. He talks about these guys obsessively. I'm beginning to question his sexuality.

_This_ is why I don't date.

There are two kinds of guys. There are the horny little perverts that just want to take you out so they can snog you later and then there are the quidditch guys. I was unfortunate enough to get the quidditch fanatic. I'm not a big fan of the sport. Sure, I'll watch Gryffindor play. That's it. My love for quidditch ends there.

I'm not saying that I really wanted to get the pervert for a date, but at least I can do something about that kind of guy. A good kick in the groin or punch in the face would solve all of my problems had I gone out on a date with that type of guy. Sadly, I have the disgustingly nice quidditch nut. If I punched him, he would surely think I was insane and rude.

The thought it tempting though...anything to stop his mouth.

"They have two new beaters as well. You would never suspect Bromley to have such an arm, but, man, can that guy send a bludger flying," Jacobs said in awe.

Oh, Merlin, save me.

"They still have the same seeker. This seeker is fantastic though! He almost _always_ catches the snitch. He's so swift and agile-"

Kill me now. Have some mercy! Please, let a bolt of lightning strike me where I stand and spare me this mind-numbing pain.

"Yates, the seeker, started playing when he was in school. I believe that he started when he was in his second year. I started playing when I was in third, but-"

That mouth needs to be stopped. Maybe I'll snog him.

No, that wouldn't be nice. I don't really facy him...at all...He's actually rather irritating with his quidditch blabber. Besides, he'd probably still ramble on about quidditch while the snogging was going on.

------------

For the past forty-five minutes I've been twirling a button around. After the first eight hundred minutes or so of quidditch rambling my mind began to buzz. I had to entertain myself or I'd surely fall asleep. I ripped one of the buttons from my blouse and have been using it for self-entertainment ever since.

This is my favorite blouse.

It was that bad. I think I might have a future as a professional button twirler. With all of this practice I've been getting, I'm possibly the best there is. Of course, every now and then I have to nod my head or make my eyes really big and act like I'm astonished. This seems to egg him on. I need to get out of here before I lose all of my remaining brain cells.

"The keeper and the seeker were old school friends and-"

"Oh, I just remembered that I promised Lily I would meet her at Honeyduke's at ten," I lied.

"We've only got a few minutes to get there then," he said anxiously, grabbing our cloaks.

"We?" I choked, spitting the last bit of my butterbeer out.

"I'm coming with you, of course," he replied happily.

Argh! Merlin, he can't come with me!

"No!" I yelled.

He looked taken aback at my sudden outburst and stared at me.

"I mean...er...sorry, but I told her it would be an all girl outing," I said, trying to smile although I think it looked more like a grimace.

"That's so nice that you guys are close and that you didn't let me ruin your plans," Phillip said sincerely.

I'm going to hell. It's inevitable.

"Yeah, well, I better be off," I said quickly and scurried out the door.

-------

"Stupid buggers," I growled, viciously kicking at the colorful leaves swirling around my ankles.

_Crunch_

I whipped around quickly. My heart thumped wildly in my chest as I darted my eyes around. I looked suspiciously down the small alley by Honeydukes. I sighed in relief when I saw a stray cat bumble out of the alley, a trail of dry leaves floating in the wind behind it.

"It's just a cat, Courtney," I told myself sternly.

I rolled my eyes at myself for spooking like that. What was I expecting, a couple of those Death Munchers or whatever they're called? I'm right outside Honeydukes, there's about a hundred people milling around, and it's broad daylight! I openly laughed, making my way towards the door.

Stop being paranoid, Courtney.

"ARRRRGH!" I screamed.

I felt a hand take a tight grip around my arm and drag me down the small alley. Their other hand quickly closed over my mouth. I desperately tried to smack my attacker with my other arm by throwing it around. A smooth and deep laugh told me that it was a male. Seeing as I wasn't getting anywhere by aimlessly thrashing my arm around, I tried to bite his hand. That didn't work either. I guess it's Plan C.

"Did you just...lick me?" Lucius Malfoy asked in disbelief, his tone too snooty for my liking.

"YOU!" I yelled, "It was you! What on earth do you think you're doing!"

"You licked me," he said in distaste, staring at the palm of his hand.

"Why did you attack me like that! You could have just asked me to follow you instead of giving me a heart attack!" I shouted.

"You licked me," he repeated, still gawking at the trail of saliva on his hand.

"Yes, I licked you! We have obviously established that I did indeed lick your hand. That is not important at the present moment! What is more important is why you decided to drag me into this smelly, old alley!" I snapped, glaring at the disgusted boy.

"You sound ungrateful," Malfoy commented.

"I'm supposed to be grateful that you bruised my arm while yanking me into this weird alley!" I asked, laughing.

"If you would shut that obnoxious mouth of yours for longer than five seconds then maybe you would understand," he said coldly, his Slytherin hostility returning.

"Fine," I said, "Go ahead and tell me what's so important."

He raised an eyebrow at me. He waited a few moments before clearing his throat. I snorted. He made it seem like he was giving some great speech.

"I know that you think about him often. If I were in your position, I would too," he began, pacing back and forth slowly.

"W-what?" I questioned, my voice shaking.

How could he know? Nobody here knows, not even Lily! What could Lucius Malfoy possibly know about my situation? Maybe he thinks it's something else. He has to. He can't possibly know.

"You think about meeting him all of the time. For years, you dwelled on it, never thinking of anything else. He goes through the same thing," Malfoy continued.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, hoping to catch him in his lie.

"Your father," he said abruptly, stopping to look me in the eye, "I can help you meet him."

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him, wide-eyed. I couldn't believe it. I closed my eyes in hope that when I opened them, he would be gone. I couldn't let myself believe him. It would just be another let-down.

"You're lying," I said, taking a step back.

"Why would I lie?" he asked, not breaking eye contact.

My breathing was shallow and my fast heart-beat pounded in my ears. I couldn't help but get excited, even if it wasn't true. He had to be bluffing. There's no way that he could have known anything. He's just making it up.

"I don't know," I replied slowly, staring at my feet.

"Do you want my help or not?" he questioned, his voice still stiff and hard.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I asked, meeting his gaze.

"Life is about taking chances," he said.

My mind swirled with thoughts and possibilities. I felt like I was going to be suffocated. I closed my eyes and thought about all the times I dreamed about a chance like this. It was too good to be true. Maybe Malfoy is right...Life is about taking chances.

"When can I meet him?" I questioned.

"I'm glad that you've accepted my help. I shall owl you when the time is upon us and until then I expect to recieve no attitude from you," Malfoy said, sounding as cold and distant as ever.

I watched as his black cloak floated out of the alley behind him. I slowly walked out the alley a few moments later and plopped down on a bench. I felt like I was in a dream as I watched everyone walk by me. I couldn't believe that after years and years of waiting and hoping, I would finally get to meet my father.

I jumped when I felt someone drop their weight on the other side of the bench. I turned to see a dark haired boy with a Gryffindor scarf slung around his neck.

"Meadowes! Fancy seeing you here!" Black greeted cheerfully.

"Must you be so painfully annoying?" I groaned, forgetting about my happy mood.

"Must you be so painfully mean?" he fired back.

"Why am I being graced with your presence today, Black?" I asked sarcastically.

"No particular reason," he replied, leaning back and watching the people on the street.

"Where's your stupid little date at?" I questioned.

"I might ask you the same thing," he said, smirking.

"It just wasn't really working out," I answered.

That's understatement...

"Really?" he said in an unbelieving tone, quirking an eyebrow.

He really infuriates me.

"Well, if you must know, his incessant quidditch babble drove me insane," I snapped.

"See, telling the truth wasn't really that hard," he teased.

Oh, how I would love to smack him.

"And where might your charming date be? You never answered," I said acidly.

"She giggled too much," he shrugged.

My jaw dropped. Merlin help that boy...

"She _giggled_ too much? That's a first," I snorted.

"It was annoying as hell," he argued.

"What, did you just leave her somewhere?" I laughed.

"Yeah, pretty much," he replied casually.

Bloody hell.

"Sooo," Black said, "Seeing as neither of us have a date anymore, why don't we keep each other company?"

He waggled his eyebrows.

You've got to be kidding me...

"No," I cried hysterically, "Are you crazy?"

"Oh, come on, why not? A little fun never hurt anyone," he said.

"I hate you, you hate me, we don't snog!" I replied firmly.

"Is that how it works? I would have thought that it would make it more exciting that way," he commented thoughtfully.

The boy has a death wish.

"You're sick!" I snapped, walking away.

"Fine! We won't snog! Just don't leave me to wander around alone," he said while following me.

"No, go find Remus and Peter," I said briskly.

"I can't! They disappeared!" he protested.

"I'm not spending the rest of the day with you, Black," I hissed, whipping around to face him.

"Please," he begged, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"No," I answered coldly, "And that's final."

I set off down the street again. My stomach squirmed uncomfortably when I didn't hear his footsteps trailing behind me. I turned my head to spot him trudging into Honeydukes. I shook my head to rid myself of the weird feeling in my stomach.

-----------

I tossed and turned in my bed. This was about the fifth time I had woken up. I just couldn't sleep. Now with the possibility of meeting my father hanging over my mind, I would never get to sleep. I groaned and threw my feet over the side of my bed. I slid my feet into my worn slippers and crept down to the common room.

I collapsed on the couch and stared at the dying embers of the fire. There was a soft glow coming from them. I tried to count all of them. I gave up and shut my eyes tightly. I concentrated on trying to fall asleep.

My eyes fluttered open a few minutes later. I was startled to see Sirius Black sitting in a chair a few feet away, staring at the faint glow of the fire like I had been doing earlier. His brow was furrowed and he was frowning. I felt like I was spying on him. I cleared my throat to let him know that I was here.

"Oh," he jumped, "I thought you were asleep."

"I'd like to be," I muttered.

"Are you having trouble sleeping too?" he asked, a small smile on his face.

"Yes," I sighed, "Too much on my mind."

There was a pause. Black was drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair, glancing at me every few moments. His hair was messy and disheveled, looking like he had been running his hands through it. I felt a little guilty about what I had said earlier. I was a bit rude. I began to panic, wondering if I was the reason why he couldn't sleep.

"Why were you talking to Malfoy today?" he suddenly burst out.

"Er, what?" I asked, caught off guard.

"I saw you two talking in that alley beside Honeydukes. What did he want?" Black questioned.

"Oh...er...the Divination assignment," I lied.

"He doesn't take Divination, Meadowes," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"It's nothing that concerns you," I snapped, glaring at him.

He was quiet after that. I looked down at my hands anxiously. I had no idea why, but I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him all about the problem that was keeping me up at night. I wanted to finally share my little secret with someone and he was who was here now. I wanted to get it off of my chest.

"Malfoy said he can help me meet my father," I said quietly.

His head jerked up and he stared at me. I knew that I would have to explain everything.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I've never known my father. My mother died shortly after she had me and I was raised by my aunt and her drunkard of a husband," I said, still staring at my hands.

"Did your father leave your mother?" he questioned cautiously.

"I don't know...That's the thing. I've never known anything about him. I don't think they were married though because I have my mother's surname," I said.

My heart was pounding again. I didn't know how he would react or what he would do. I didn't want pity, I just wanted to tell someone. I finally looked up. It was like he was waiting for me to look him in the eye.

"I never would have known," Black murmured.

"You're the only one that _does_ know," I said, "Would you mind keeping it that way?"

"My lips are sealed," he assured me.

"Thanks," I said, giving him an earnest smile.

A comfortable silence followed. The room was very dim but I could still make out the troubled look on his face. Curiosity got the best of me.

"What's on your mind?" I asked.

"It's nothing," he mumbled.

"'Nothing' doesn't keep people up at night," I pointed out.

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"Black, please tell me," I begged, "You listened to me now it's my turn to listen to you."

He looked thoughtful for a moment before looking me in the eye again.

"I'll tell you if you stop calling me Black. I don't like to be reminded that I'm related to that scum," he said bitterly.

"If I call you Sirius, you have to call me Courtney," I said, "Nobody likes to be called by their surname."

"It's my family," he said coldly, "They support Lord Voldemort. They love his idea of purifying the wizarding race and they're still trying to get me to join his little group. They're so proud of Regulus because he has decided to join. They just can't seem to understand that I won't ever do that because I'm nothing like them. It's still hard to believe that _they_ are my family."

"I had guessed that you and your family didn't get along that well...but I never knew that they still tried to get you into all of that dark stuff," I said.

"The Marauders are the only ones that really know," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.

His eyes had a pleading look to them. It felt so strange to be sitting here with him, the two of us exchanging our secrets like this. I never would have guessed that my enemy would be the only person to know about my life. I think things have changed between us. I hardly think that we're enemies any longer...we're more like friends.

"I won't tell anyone," I said softly.

He didn't thank me, but he didn't need to. I never really realized how readable his eyes are and how much you can tell from his body language. His eyes were softer than before and he looked more relaxed.

I felt a lot better after I told him about my father. I wasn't really startled when a yawn escaped from my mouth.

"I think we'll both find falling asleep to be easier now," Sirius said, smiling gently.

I stood up and stretched. I was happy to finally feel tired. My mind had stopped buzzing and I didn't feel so alone any longer. I knew now that I could talk to Sirius about it. I always wanted to talk to Lily about it but I knew that all I would get was pity. I knew now that Sirius had a bit of a problem too. We wouldn't give each other pity all the time.

"Good night, Sirius," I said before trudging up the stairs to my dormitory.

I thought that it would feel weirder to say 'Sirius' instead of 'Black'. I was surprised when it rolled off of my tongue like I had been calling him that for years. It didn't keep me from sleeping though. My head hardly had time to hit the pillow before I was asleep.

-------------------

**A/N-**Again, thanks so much for all of the reviews. I can only hope that I get as many reviews this time around. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up. I've had to re-write it like three times. I just didn't like the way it was turning out. I'm not completely happy with this chapter either. I didn't like it very well. It was especially hard for me to concentrate lately since the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out. I am completely and utterly obsessed. There's no getting around it. If you haven't seen it yet, you definitely need to. OK, well, before I go on one of my Pirates of the Caribbean rambling sprees, I'm going to thank you again for all the reviews! **Please review again!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer-**I don't own anything HP, but I do own several broken CD players. Now _there's_ something to be proud of.

**Wow, thank you so much for all the reviews! It means a lot!**

**Chapter 9-**

"Pretty please, Remus?" I begged.

"No! You're not copying my History of Magic essay. Why don't you try doing it yourself?" he snapped, curling an arm protectively around his essay.

"Why can't I have a peek at it?" I questioned.

"You know why," he replied darkly.

"I won't ever help Sirius fill all of your socks full of whip cream again," I said, trying not to grin.

"Since when were you two so buddy-buddy? Last time I remember it, you're were trying to rip each other's throats out," he said bitterly.

"You're still sore about it then?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm still sore about it! I put my feet into whip cream three times before I realized they were _all _filled!" he cried in exasperation, "Sirius is normally too lazy to fill all of them so I wasn't really expecting the blue ones to have whip cream too."

"He made me do it!" I said, pointing an accusing finger at Sirius across the room, "Sirius threatened to fill all of my socks with whip cream too!"

"I'm sure," Remus responded dryly.

"Fine, but when I fail this class, I'm going to blame it on you," I said, scribbling the beginning of the essay.

"If that makes you feel better," he said calmly.

"Remus, you're starting a trend here. I'll fail this class, and then I'll fail another and another. It'll just keep going until I'm living in a cardboard box. It will all be your fault too! Someday you'll be sorry. The guilt will be unbearable," I said dramatically.

No response.

"I'll be a complete failure at life. What if I have to eat cats to keep myself alive? And what will happen when it rains? My cardboard box will get all soggy and cave in. I won't be able to do anything because I won't be able to do magic. I will have already sold my wand for a few extra knuts. Well, I might be able to do something if I learned wandless magic. But that wouldn't have happened because I failed all of my classes because you, one of my best friends, wouldn't let me copy your History of Magic essay. See where this is going, Remus? You're going to be the death of me. Just keep that in mind," I finished.

He didn't say anything for a while. He was pointedly ignoring me.

"Oh, woe is me. I can't remember what year the rebellion began," I cried.

I was pleased to see the corner of Remus's mouth twinge in irritation. His jaw clenched a bit before he shook his head, continuing to do his work.

"Oh dear," I muttered, "I seem to have misplaced my notes. Wait, I remember. I was so charitable today and gave them to a classmate that was in dire need of them. Whatever shall I do?"

"For the love of Merlin," he exclaimed, "Just take the essay. Copy it and go along your merry way."

-----------------

"Hello, Sirius," I greeted as the boy plopped down on the chair across from me.

I could tell from the way he looked at me, he wanted something. Over the past week, I've come to know when he wants something. A couple days ago we were in a similar situation. That was when he wanted help with a prank. We put trashy romance novels by James's bed. It was quite amusing when he and Lily went up there to snog. Sirius and I watched from under the beds. James was completely flustered and tried to tell Lily that he would never read those kinds of books.

She was just as flustered because they were_ her _books.

Judging by the fact that we both have all of our limbs, they have no clue.

"I see you managed to get Moony's essay," he commented, grinning.

"Don't I always?" I smirked.

"Do you reckon he'd mind if I copied the last bit of it? I can't seem to figure out a good way to end mine," Sirius asked innocently, taking a peek at the essay.

"I don't think he would," I said, "Here, you take it. I've finished copying it."

"Thanks. I'll be sure to get it back soon," he assured me before running up the steps to his dormitory.

------------

So here I am, my cherished button and I reunited, in History of Magic. Binns has officially earned the title of dimmest teacher in Hogwarts. The loon has assigned us to read out of our text books for the remaining time. I really think he gives us more credit than we deserve. We are, in no way, shape, or form, 'responsible students'.

You could probably get away with murder right now. There is not one soul in this room that is actually reading out of the book. I mean, what kind of idiot would?

Actually, I take that back.

There is _one _person reading.

Do I even have to say it? It's sad, really. Lily is so irritatingly perfect at times. She always does what she's told. She gets perfect grades. She's Head Girl. She has a nice bloke that is completely crazy for her. She always looks so neat and pretty. I really have to wonder why she's still friends with me.

I'm quite different from her. I don't _always_ do what I'm told or get decent grades. I do probably one out of ten assignments. I normally just copy someone else's because I'm too lazy. I would never make Head Girl or anything like that. I'm too irresponsible. I do not have a nice bloke that is completely crazy for me. It's most likely because I'm a bit on the rude side and don't really care about my appearance. I don't even think that I brushed my hair this morning.

I try not to dwell on the fact that Lily is pretty much perfect...and, well, I'm not. She _is_ my best friend. It's just hard not to be a little envious at times.

"So," I drawled, "Anything new with the boyfriend?"

"Would you be quiet? This kind of reading takes concentration," she hissed.

"Getting intense, is it?" I asked dryly, giving my button a twirl.

"Oh, bugger off," she grumbled, before adding, "Besides, James hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet."

Even through the ancient book that she buried her face in, I knew that she was blushing. She's very predictable.

"What? Are you two just snogging buddies?" I questioned sarcastically.

"Well, I don't know," she whined.

"Say something to him," I suggested.

I gagged a little bit when she stuffed a clump of her hair into her mouth, chewing it like bubblegum. I couldn't help but stare at her mouth as she tortured that inoccent hair. Lily looked like a bloody cow, gnawing at her hair for all it was worth. She stopped a few minutes later, to my relief, and showed the hair some mercy.

"Maybe," she concluded, letting the damp hair fall from her mouth.

Eww.

After all of that hair chomping, all I get is a 'maybe'? She's just being stupid. She can't say a word to the guy without getting tongue-tied, but yet, she can stick her tongue down his throat without any difficulty. I don't know if I'm the only one who finds this a little odd or not. Lily might be very clever, but at times she is quite daft.

Class ended a few minutes later. Everyone gathered their things and began to march out the door like the herd of zombies they are. Lily and I were nearing the door when I heard Binns's unnaturally dull voice.

"Potter, Black, Meadowes, Lupin, and Pettigrew, I'd like a word," he called flatly.

-----------

Well, the five of us have detention tomorrow night. It was actually surprising that he noticed. It's quite interesting how that essay traveled around. Apparently James didn't get it finished so he borrowed it from Sirius. Peter also copied the essay, making that the fifth copy. I guess we all needed 'a bit of help' with our assignment. It turns out that there was five essays that were identical, down to the last word.

"I never should have gave you that essay in the first place," Remus growled.

"Calm down, Moony. It's not like you've never had a detention before," Sirius said, sprawling himself out on the couch...where Remus and I were sitting.

"Padfoot, your head is a bit too close to my crotch to be comfortable," Remus said while squirming around.

"Well, look at it this way, Moony. You helped everyone's grade by contributing your excellent essay," Sirius concluded happily, ignoring Remus's previous comment.

"Yes, Sirius, I did help, didn't I? The only problem is, we all recieved zeros for copying," he said sourly.

Sirius frowned, "I guess I forgot about that."

"Move your feet," I demanded, "They smell like something dead."

"Would you two stop complaining?" he sighed, making himself more comfortable.

Remus and I exchanged looks of annoyance.

"Hurry up, Wormtail," James hissed, making the boy scurry down the steps quicker.

I raised my eyebrow as the two boys pulled chairs up to the couch. James muttered something to Peter that caused the boy distress. Peter fumbled around in his robes before pulling out a small clipboard. Oh Merlin, what are they doing?

"What's this all about?" Remus asked, giving Peter an uneasy look as he scribbled notes on his clipboard.

"I am hear to question the three of you about a certain stack of books that appeared on my bedside table approximately two days ago," James announced, giving each of us a scrutinizing stare.

We were completely silent.

"Ah, trying to play inoccent, are we?" James asked, raising his eyebrow, "You can't fool me though. Nobody can fool James Potter."

"Prongs, I don't have a clue about what you're talking about," Remus said, shaking his head slowly.

"AHA! It was you!" James cried, jumping up and pointing a finger at him.

"What?" he sputtered, looking quite alarmed.

"You're a horrible liar, Moony," James stated matter-of-factly.

"I didn't do anything," he protested.

"Liar," James exclaimed, causing a few people to stare.

"James, stop acting like a fool," Remus whispered anxiously.

"Not until you admit that you put the books there," he answered stubbornly.

"What books?" Remus snapped.

"Oh, you know what books," he said furiously.

"But I-"

"Remus, just give up, mate. He caught you," Sirius said, patting him on the shoulder.

"But it wasn't me! I'm inoccent," Remus paused, then his eyes narrowed, "It was you, wasn't it, Sirius?"

"Me?" Sirius asked in mock disbelief, "You should be ashamed of yourself. Stop trying to pass the blame."

"The blame isn't mine to pass!" Remus bellowed, looking particularly irritated now that James had a tight hold on his ear.

After a few more minutes of protesting, Remus silently stalked back up to the dormitory behind James (who still had a tight hold on his ear) with Peter trailing behind with his clipboard.

"That was close," Sirius sighed, putting his hands behind his head.

"Don't you feel a bit bad that we let Remus take the blame?" I questioned, shoving his feet off my lap.

"Not really," he replied, replacing his feet on me, "If he was in our place, he would do the same thing."

"I suppose he would," I sighed, once again shoving Sirius's odorous feet off me.

I glared at him when he put his feet back in my lap. He smirked at me. It was a losing battle for me.

--------------

**Sirius's POV**

I opened the bathroom door, letting a trail of steam escape. The click of the door alerted the only occupant of the room that I was done in the shower. Remus tried to ignore me.

He sat on his bed reading a book. I was surprised to see that the rest of the Marauders were out as well. I imagine that James and Lily are off somewhere together. I must admit that I'm curious to know where Peter is. He's been disappearing more and more lately.

"I know it was you that put those books there," Remus hissed, finally acknowledging my presence.

"Prongs doesn't though," I smirked, tossing my wet towel into the corner.

I examined my reflection in the mirror. Small beads of water still ran down the hair hanging in front of my face, dripping on my shirt. Ah, we can't have a soaked shirt now, can we? I shook my head, causing the water to fly throughout the room.

"Was that necessary?" Remus asked, glaring at me.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Moony? You've been short with me lately," I said, searching for cologne.

"Nothing," he replied stiffly.

I turned around to stare at him. He looked miffed. He pointedly kept his eyes focused on his book. I knew he wasn't reading because his eyes weren't moving.

"Something is bothering you," I said, causing him to roll his eyes.

"You are sharp, aren't you?" Remus questioned sarcastically.

"Tell me," I said simply.

His jaw dropped for a moment before he quickly snapped it shut. He let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

"Haven't you learned that werewolves closely guard their secrets?" he asked.

"Tell 'ol Padfoot," I prodded, taking a seat at the end of his bed.

"I'd rather not," he replied, turning a page in his book.

"Oh, come on, Moony. You know I'm not going to blab it to everyone," I groaned.

"No, Sirius," he said firmly, "Just drop it."

I felt my temper rising. He was always so paranoid about things. I know that he was itching to say something though. He just doesn't ever want to open his mouth. I'm supposed to be one of his best friends and he still can't tell me what's bothering him. He acts so childish at times.

"Fine," I barked, "I'll see you later. I have a date."

I had my hand on the door knob when he finally spoke up.

"Is there something going on between you and Courtney?" he asked quietly.

I turned around to see a nervous looking Remus. That was a surprise. I wasn't expecting something like that. He kept his eyes down, refusing to look up. I don't know why he's acting so strange about it. I-

Bloody hell.

Moony has feelings for her.

I felt nauseous for a moment, but quickly pushed the feeling away. I suppose it was that much of a surprise. I never would have expected him to fancy her. They've been friends for years, but I didn't ever think that Remus's feelings went past friendship.

He cleared his throat and with a jolt, I realized that I hadn't answered him.

"No, of course not. We're nothing but friends. She's all yours, mate," I assured him, fixing a grin on my face.

"Thanks," he said, looking up.

I nodded my head before walking out the door. As soon as I closed it, my stomach gave one last burst of nausea.

Perhaps I'm getting a stomach bug.

---------------

I trudged into the common room around eleven that night. I stifled a yawn as I walked past the fireplace. I yelped and jumped when I felt someone latch on to my pant leg.

"Merlin, you're jumpy," she laughed.

I looked down to see Courtney lounging on the floor with a pillow and a blanket. Her ebony hair was fanned out behind her, showing several tangles.

"Waiting up for me?" I teased.

"Actually, I was. I wanted to talk to you," Courtney said, "I couldn't sleep."

"Is the whole Malfoy thing on your mind?" I asked, sitting myself down beside her.

"Yes," she groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Having doubts?" I questioned.

"I just would have thought that a letter would have come," she said, sounding hopeless, "It's been nearly two weeks!"

"You don't think he was lying, do you?"

She let her hands fall from her face and she stared at me. My chest tightened when she sat up and let her shoulders slump.

"I just don't know how else he could have known," she said softly, "There are four people in this school that know and they're Dumbledore, Malfoy, you, and me. I told_ you_, but I most certainly did not tell Lucius Malfoy and I think it's safe to say that Dumbledore didn't tell him either."

"Maybe he wasn't lying," I suggested.

"I hope he wasn't," she sighed, "I tried not to get my hopes again, but look at how well that worked out."

She laughed bitterly. It made me sad to see her like this. I much rather prefer the witty, sarcastic, and content Courtney.

"Just be patient," I said, giving her arm a light squeeze.

"You're a good listener...Thanks," she said, giving one last sigh before letting her head drop on my shoulder.

I felt myself becoming more tired and being lulled to sleep by her breathing. I almost had to laugh at myself. Two weeks ago, I would have told you that I wouldn't ever say anything nice to Courtney Meadowes because all she was, was a rude, mean devil incarnate. Now, here I am, one of her friends and one of the few people to know her little secret.

I really don't know why she ever kept it such a secret. I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal, but then again, I'm not in her shoes. Maybe she was worried about what people might think. People. I've learned not to really care that much about what they think. They can keep their thoughts to themselves. I don't want to hear them.

My eyelids drooped and I found myself hanging over the line between being asleep and awake. I shook Courtney gently to see if she was asleep or not. Her eyes fluttered open quickly but began to close even quicker.

"C'mon," I whispered, pulling her up, "Time to go to bed."

She nodded sleepily and grabbed her blanket and pillow before stumbling over to the steps to her dormitory. I watched her go up to make sure she didn't fall because I don't think she was completely awake...or even half awake. I was startled when I realized that she had long since been safely in her dorm, but I was still standing there.

I silently made my way up to my own dormitory. I thought I had made it in safely. Everyone still seemed to be asleep as I settled myself into bed.

"You got in late," Remus commented.

"Yes, well, someone ambushed me in the common room," I said.

"Was Courtney still down there then?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

He was quiet after that. I couldn't stop the thoughts that came tumbling out of my mouth.

"How long have you fancied her?" I questioned.

"Since about fifth year," he replied softly.

"Why haven't you said anything to her or asked her to Hogsmeade?"

"I suppose I was too shy to and I didn't really want to make our friendship awkward. Besides, it wouldn't have lasted," Remus responded dejectedly.

"What do you mean? Why-oh," I stopped, "Your furry little problem?"

I didn't need an answer from him to know that was what he meant. I kept my mouth shut after that. I had caused him enough trouble for one night. He didn't say anything either. I guess he wasn't too keen on continuing the conversation either.

---------------

"I hate crystal balls," Courtney muttered, glaring at the said object.

"At least it's our last year of this," I sighed, flipping through the Divination book.

I stared blankly at the crystal ball. I have to wonder if anyone in this room has ever, or will ever, see anything in these things. In my opinion, the whole class was quite pointless. I really don't know why I ever took it.

My eyelids were heavy. I didn't sleep well last night. I let my eyelids close half-way, lazily keeping watch on the crystal ball. I was startled when I saw bright green in it.

I jumped and nearly toppled over backwards. When I looked again, the crystal ball was back to normal. There was something about that color that was unsettling. It made my stomach churn. I must have just been seeing things. There probably wasn't even anything there.

"You alright?" she asked, giving me a worried look.

"I'm fine. Just a bit tired because someone kept me up," I replied, raising an eyebrow.

She grinned at me before returning to her aimless page flipping. For the rest of class, I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the crystal ball. I was expecting it to surprise me with a flash of green again. It didn't though. Class ended and I decided that I was just seeing things.

"Lilllllllllllly!" she yelled, spotting her friend in the corridor.

Lily, who was walking with Remus out of the Runes room, stopped and waited for us. I couldn't help but notice the extra glances Remus was giving her as the four of us walked to lunch. I don't know how I missed it before.

"What is taking James so long?" Lily asked impatiently when we sat down in the Great Hall.

"He probably had to use the loo," Remus shrugged.

"Give him a couple minutes. You practically ran to get here," Courtney laughed, "Did either of you get that Transfiguration assignment finished?"

"Merlin, Courtney! Do your own work for once," Lily snapped.

"I won't have time to do it tonight. I have detention," she said.

"I don't even have mine done yet," Lily shrugged.

"Remus?" she said hopefully.

"I think I'll save myself the trouble and just give it to you now," he muttered, handing the essay to her.

"Thanks," she said happily, giving him a small smile which he returned.

My appetite just disappeared and was replaced with nausea.

Bloody stomach bug.

---------------------

**A/N-**I know, it jumped around a lot. I was just having terrible writer's block. It was close to impossible to write this chapter. I'm sorry if it wasn't very good. There were probably tons and tons of mistakes. My brain hasn't been functioning right. I have been so incoherent lately. And the story finally starts moving a bit! Remus could present a bit of a problem for Sirius, eh? Ah, he's still oblivious to his feelings, blaming them on a stomach bug. It's only a matter of time. Again, I say I'm jumping around a lot. I don't know when I'll get to update again. I have just a little over a month left of summer vacation and I am trying desperately to savor it. The updates may become even less frequent or more frequent, depending on the weather. **Please** review, it doesn't take long and you'll get a piece of cake. Ok, so maybe I lied about the cake...


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer-**As depressing as it is, I don't own Harry Potter. Sigh. If only I could have Sirius...

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I love you guys!**

**Things finally get moving a bit between them in this chapter! Without further rambling on my part, I present Chapter 10!**

**Chapter 10-**

"For the last time, Prongs, I'm fine," Sirius snapped, stabbing a piece of chicken.

It was quite a fierce stab actually...I don't know what is stuck up his arse today, but I'd be happy to remove it if he would stop glaring at everyone in sight, mainly me.

"It doesn't have anything to do with what we discussed last night, does it?" Remus asked cautiously.

Sirius stared at his plate before slowly lifting his head. He looked strangely calm and anxious at the same time, resulting in him slightly resembling a crazed lunatic who was about to go on a killing spree.

"No, not at all," he replied, giving his chicken another vicious stab.

"Are you sure?" Remus prodded, obviously not satisfied with his previous answer.

"Yes, Moony, I'm sure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am quite sure that there's a girl and a broom closet that need me somewhere," Sirius said, standing up.

Oh, yes, I'm sure that girls just go and sit in broom closets by themselves all the time _just waiting _for Sirius to stumble across them for a good snog. Their thumbs probably have sores from all the twiddling they do while they're waiting. Sirius Black: the cause of thumb sores on girls everywhere!

He's turned around to glare at me again.

Bugger...I said that aloud, didn't I?

Judging by the intensity of his glare and the sniggers from everyone else, I think it's safe to say that I did.

"Very funny, Courtney," he said in an icy tone.

"_I_ thought so," I replied stiffly.

He didn't say anything back to me. Instead he whipped around, grabbed a Ravenclaw girl, and stomped out of the Great Hall. Mind you, while he was scowling, she giggled and smiled on the way out. Then again, he _is_ Sirius Black. He can do pretty much whatever he wants with a majority of the female population around here.

There was a brief silence that held over the group, all of us staring after Sirius. Well, _somebody_ had to knock his ego down a few notches before it got out of hand...And that someone was me. I suppose he'll get over it soon enough.

"What were you talking about earlier, Moony?" James asked casually, only to be given a blank look, "You know, what you and Sirius discussed."

"Oh, er, nothing important really," he answered, shifting in his seat.

"Was it about your furry little problem?" James questioned darkly.

Remus blushed and gave a hesitant nod.

What.The.Hell.

Furry little problem? Merlin only knows what that could mean! I don't think I even w_ant_ to use my imagination for this one. Even the term alarms me. Why is he blushing? Is it _that_ personal? He _should not_ be blushing. What is the reason for this redness?

Lily gave me a swift kick from under the table, causing a shooting pain to travel up my shin.

"OW! What was that fo-" I paused, "Oh damn, I said that aloud again, didn't I?"

Lily nodded.

Curse these awkward silences.

"I think I'm going to, er, go for a walk," I said, stumbling to get out of seat.

Pat on the back for that one, Courtney! You sure are doing a wonderful job on making yourself look like a complete and utter blundering idiot today. Although I'm sure I could improve my moron-ing technique. It might be difficult after saying my thoughts aloud though, especially those where I make a friend's problem sound dirty...it might just be dirty though.

I stopped when I exited the Great Hall. Where was I planning on going? The Slytherin common room? Note the sarcasm on that one. Class doesn't start for a while. I suppose I'll just wander the corridors, hoping that maybe someone will accidently kill me.

You have _got_ to be kidding me.

Someone up there definitely hates me.

"Hey, Courtney," Phillip greeted happily.

Why is the urgent message 'Run! Save yourself!' flashing inside my head?

"Hi, Phillip," I said, equally as cheery.

"I haven't got to talk to you since our date," he said, grin plastered stupidly across his face.

"Er, yeah, sorry about that," I muttered.

"Don't worry about it. I had a wonderful time with you and I've been meaning to talk to you," he paused, shuffling his feet.

"Yes?" I prodded, waiting for the rest of the thought to tumble out of his mouth.

Down the corridor a bit, a closet door swung open and a blonde girl clambered out, sneaking back into the Great Hall while buttoning her blouse back up. Then Sirius swaggered out, looking quite smug with his mussed hair and lip gloss smeared across his face. I couldn't seem to take my eyes away from him.

"Well, I really like you," Phillip said, looking down at his shoes.

My attention was quickly yanked back to the boy in front of me. I felt a little irritated by him, but then again he did come to talk to me and all I did was gawk at Sirius. Seeing as I didn't have a clue about what it was he had said, I just smiled encouragingly.

"I knew you felt the same way," he said, finally meeting my gaze, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

Is it just me, or did someone drop a sack of bricks on my chest? I definitely wasn't expecting that. What am I supposed to say to that? I hardly know him, and the little bit of him I do know, I don't exactly like...at all. I swear that he is a walking uncomfortable situation.

Why is it that every time I'm in his presence, I am begging for lightning to strike me down?

At that moment when I was frantically trying to think of something to say, Sirius and I locked eyes. He had a funny look on his face. Maybe it was because he was trying to glare at me, but he was too happy after that snog. A sharp pang went through my stomach as I abruptly ripped my eyes away from his and turned back to Phillip, someone else seeming to take control of me.

"Yes," I responded, grinning at him.

Phillip beamed and gave me an awkward hug. I flinched when I heard the closet door being slammed shut. I glimpsed at Sirius as he stormed back into the Great Hall, back to his grumpy self.

-------------

"What was I thinking?" I moaned, collapsing on Lily's bed.

"I don't think you were thinking at all," Lily answered, frowning at me because I was on top of her book.

"All he ever does is talk about quidditch," I said, mentally smacking myself.

"You'll just have to break up with him, Courtney," she sighed, shoving me off her bed.

"I can't!" I cried, "That would be horrible. I have to wait a while at least."

Yes, that's it. I'll wait a week or two and then break up with him. I will just have to play along with it for a while. Everyone would think I was horrible if I went out with him for a day and broke up with him. He is a well-liked bloke, so maybe he isn't that bad. I think I can stand a couple weeks being his girlfriend, even if I have no feelings for him at all.

"Don't lead him on!" Lily argued.

"I've made up my mind," I replied, "Well, I have a detention to attend to."

She opened her mouth to say something, but I sprinted out of the room before any sound came out. I couldn't help but feel a little proud of myself for being able to avoid her tirade.

"It's about bloody time. We've been waiting for you for five minutes," Sirius grumbled when I got to the common room.

"You're the one that got us into this detention," I retorted, sticking my tongue out.

"Actually, if I remember it right, it was _you_ that got us into this," Remus commented, herding us out the portrait hole.

"Oh, I guess it was, wasn't it?" I said, laughing a bit.

They didn't find it remotely amusing.

The Marauders and I walked down to Binns's room, waiting for the ghost to arrive. I hopped up on one the desks and sat there happily, swinging my legs back and forth. I then noticed that all four of them were glaring at me. They're a cheery group today.

"Is there any particular reason you're all glaring at me or is it just for the hell of it?" I asked, getting angry at them and returning the glare.

They all grunted in response, kind of like cavemen, and then averted their gaze.

We waited in silence for a while until we discovered that Binns wasn't going to show up. At that moment a distinct tapping noise was heard from the window. A dark owl could be seen hovering outside with a letter. Peter scuttled over to let it in.

The owl swooped in and landed in front of me on a desk, promptly sticking its leg out. I didn't recognize the handwriting on the letter, causing a jolt of excitement to shoot through me. I discreetly glanced at Sirius who nodded at me. This was it. It had to be.

I fumbled with the letter, trying to get it off the owl's leg and get it opened. My hands shook when I finally ripped the letter open. I took a deep breath before reading it. I stood there completely dumbfounded and stared at the elegant handwriting afterwards, subconciously playing the words over in my mind.

_Courtney,_

_Lucius has informed me that you wish us to meet. I have been waiting for years to hear from you. I expect that the winter holidays would be a good time for you to come to my home. If you are able to make it, please inform Lucius as he will be your escort. I do hope to see you soon._

_Sincerely,_

_your father_

"He wasn't lying," I muttered.

I read the letter over again and let a smile come across my face. My chest bubbled in content and my head buzzed with excitement. I was finally going to meet him. I was really going to meet my father. I felt my breathing coming in short, quick gasps. I was really having trouble containing my excitement.

"He wasn't lying!" I cried, launching myself at Sirius and forgetting any previous anger.

I literally leapt into him, throwing my arms around him and hugging him close. I pulled back a bit so I could jump around happily. Sirius and I grinned at each other, before I broke out into uncontrollable laughter. It seems that it was infectious because he started laughing too. He swooped me up and twirled me around. As soon as he put me down, I hugged him again.

It all seemed like it was out of a fairy tale...at least for me. It was a dream come true.

"I guess he wasn't," Sirius murmured.

I don't think I've ever been this excited in my life. I would finally get to meet him.

"I have to find Lucius!" I chirped, untangling myself from Sirius.

I ran towards the door, throwing it open, and clutching my letter. I was about to bolt out, but instead found myself plowing into someone. We crashed on to the floor in a heap. I groaned and lifted myself up as I heard the footsteps of the Marauders coming to investigate the noise.

"Phillip, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I knew you had detention tonight and I was waiting for you," he answered, pulling me to my feet with his ever-present smile.

Even the painful throb in my side and the appearance of Phillip wasn't enough to damper my mood. In fact, I was almost happy to see him. I don't know what posessed me to do it, but I kissed Phillip right there on the spot. Although it startled him, it didn't take him very long to respond. His hands snaked down to my waist, pulling me closer to him. I deepened the kiss and backed him to the wall.

"Don't you have the decency to find a broom closet?" Sirius bellowed.

I pulled my lips away from Phillip's and stared at Sirius. He was glaring at me...again. Remus shook his head at me before walking away with James and Peter. They seemed upset with me and it made my stomach squirm.

OK, so maybe this was enough to knock my happy mood down a few notches.

"I have to find Lucius," I choked out, setting off to the dungeons.

------------------

**Sirius's POV**

I watched Courtney's retreating back, before turning back to her boyfriend. The stupid git was standing there with a goofy grin on his face, still staring down the corridor she disappeared down. I vaguely remembered him as the bloke she went to Hogsmeade with a while back.

"She's great, isn't she?" he asked happily.

My lip curled in contempt.

"If you like dragons," I replied coldly.

"Sorry, didn't hear you," Phillip said, staring down the corridor once again.

I snorted before turning on my heel and leaving. I could feel my strides growing longer and my teeth grinding. I felt like I had no control over myself. By the time I got to the common room, I was running.

I don't know how much longer I can blame the stomach bug...

---------------

Just go to bed.

_No, she needs someone to talk to about this._

Who cares about _her_? Since when were we such good friends anyway?

_Things change and so have you._

Then why am I so mad at her?

_You're jealous._

Jealous? Ha! That's a laugh. Why would I be jealous?

_Because you fancy the pants off her._

Do not.

_Liar._

I am not a liar! Just because we told each other a few secrets and have been civil with each other doesn't mean I fancy her now.

_Who said you _just_ started liking her?_

And what's that supposed to mean?

_You know what it means. _

No, I don't. I really don't know what you're hinting to. Besides, this isn't about whether or not I have bloody feelings for Courtney (which I don't), it's about waiting here for her.

_I didn't start this. You did._

Bugger off. I don't need a conscience anyway. I hear they're highly over-rated.

_You're just pissed off because you know I'm right._

Go to hell.

---------------

"Sirius," she whispered, prodding me with a finger, "Sirius, wake up."

"Go away," I grumbled, rolling over on the floor.

"Everyone left the common room and I want to talk to you," Courtney whined, gripping my forearm.

I ran a hand over my face and looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was a mess. Even now, she made my breath catch. She never even tries, but she still looks perfect. I snorted at my own corny thoughts, knowing that they were true all the same.

"What are you snorting at?" she asked, poking my rib.

"Nothing," I mumbled, sitting myself up.

"Here," she said, thrusting the letter into my hands, "Read it."

My eyes zipped over the words, pausing at the end.

"Didn't he give you his name?" I questioned, looking up at her.

"No," she replied thoughtfully, beginning to frown, "He didn't. I wonder why...Oh Merlin, do you think there's a reason? What if he doesn't really want to meet me?"

"I'm sure he just wanted to sound normal by signing it like that," I soothed.

"I suppose so," she sighed, staring at the dying fire.

She bit her lip and turned to face me. I found my eyes locked on her lips. They looked soft and almost ruby in color. My gaze darted up to her eyes. She looked amused, almost like she could read my thoughts and knew that I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. The temptation was strong and I really had no desire to resist it.

I started to lean in, inwardly grinning when I noticed her eyes linger on my own lips. Our lips were close, one of us just waiting for the other to make the final move. I wasn't about to let it get awkward, so I closed the gap, bringing my lips down on hers. My lips tingled and I wrapped my arm around her waist, slowly bringing her closer to me. I was startled when she deepened the kiss and threw her arms around my neck, letting out the softest and quietest of moans.

A pleasant tingle traveled up and down my spine and through every part of me that she touched. Just as I tried to slip my tongue into her mouth, she pulled away like someone had shocked her. We were both breathing somewhat heavily and I couldn't supress my grin. I leaned my forehead against her's and playfully nipped at her lip.

"Sirius," she murmured, "Don't. No. we can't do this."

"And why not?" I asked, trying to get her to look me in the eye.

"Why not?" she hissed, meeting my gaze, "I have a boyfriend! That's why!"

"A boyfriend you don't even like," I muttered bitterly.

She let her arms drop from my neck and snapped, "Who are you to decide whether I like him or not?"

"If you really like him that much, then why did you kiss me?" I questioned quietly.

"Sirius," she started impatiently.

"What?" I cut her off, "What, Courtney? I suppose you plan on walking away and pretending like this never happened then."

I let out a bark of hollow laughter that stopped short when I saw her face. Her eyes were glazed over with tears that refused to fall and her jaw was clenched. My stomach dropped when she roughly pushed my arms from around her waist and stood up.

"That's exactly what I plan to do," she whispered.

She marched off towards her dormitory, leaving me to stare after her once again. I groaned and fell backwards, looking at the ceiling when my conscience appeared again.

_You should have kept your tongue in your own mouth._

I can't say I'm going to argue with that one.

-----------------------

**A/N-**It was shorter than I planned, but I thought that little comment was a good place to leave off. I know that all summer I've been horrible with updating, but come on! It's summer! I also know that a lot of people have asked me to update my other stories. I'm sorry to tell you but they won't get updated for a loooong time. They probably won't get updated until I finish this, which is quite a while. Haha, I didn't plan for anything to happen between them for a few more chapters but nothing ever really goes according to plan, now does it? And you may be wondering what Courtney was feeling through all of this, well, you shall find out in the next chapter! I'm planning on getting another chapter up this week, but we all know how that goes. Please **review**! I'm handing out cookies this time around!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer-**This is fan fiction. Note that the key word is 'fan'.

**Wow, thanks for the reviews, guys! I really appreciate them. Enjoy the early update!**

**Chapter 11-**

What was I thinking?

I kissed Sirius.

Oh Merlin...

Why did I do that? Why? That was completely stupid. He's my friend _and_ I have a boyfriend. That breaks two rules right there! I don't even like him!

Do I?

Oh no. What if I fancy Sirius? I can't fancy him! For the past three years I've been betting on his love life and let's just say that he's not exactly the type of person that you want to be involved with. We've only been friends for a little over a month and now I've gone and ruined it!

Wait...He was the one who kissed me...

Great. That's even better. I have become just another mindless ditz in his eyes and I didn't really do myself any justice when I kissed him back. Ugh. I've had a boyfriend for less than twenty four hours and already I'm unfaithful.

What was I thinking?

Why, oh why, did I kiss Sirius Black? What would ever posess me to do that? It's _Sirius Black_. That should have been enough to send off alarms in my head. But no. I blatantly ignored them and snogged him anyway. This is possibly one of the most moronic things I've ever done in my entire life.

OK, nothing is getting accomplished here. As much as I would love to wallow in self-pity all morning, I need to eat. I have to show my face. People might get suspicious. Although the last thing they would suspect is that I'm hiding from Sirius because I kissed him last night. Or he kissed me. Bloody hell, it's all the same! Either way, the story is quite unbelievable because, well, I'm me. There's no logical reason why he would kiss me...actually, the whole idea of someone kissing me is quite absurd.

"Good morning!" Lily chirped, ripping the hangings on my bed back.

I gave her a blank stare, whimpered, and then hid under my blanket.

"What's wrong?" she demanded, fighting with me to pull the blanket away.

HA! Like I was going to blab about last night...

"Nothing," I growled, tugging on my blanket.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Lily scoffed, finally wretching my blanket away from me.

"Yes," I mumbled back.

"Ahhh," she said knowingly, "I know what happened."

I'd be a liar if I said my eyes didn't turn the size of dinner plates.

"You do?" I squeaked.

"You feel rotten because you're leading that poor bloke on," she nodded.

I let out the breath I was holding, only to suck it back in quickly a few moments later.

Phillip...Why can't I just disappear?

I wonder how much secret underground liars go for these days...

"Er, yeah, that's it," I sighed dejectedly.

"Just break things off at breakfast," Lily suggested, running a brush through her auburn hair.

"Lilllllly, you just don't understand," I groaned, trudging to the bathroom.

She gave me a puzzled look before I snapped the bathroom door shut. I leaned back against it and slowly let myself slide down, hitting the floor with my bum harshly.

I can _not_ fancy Sirius Black.

-------------------

"Pass the butter, please," Peter asked, finally breaking the silence.

Everyone was strangely quiet. I have the feeling that James suspects something. He keeps giving me funny looks. Well, that might be because I'm darting my eyes around in a paranoid kind of way. It's quite difficult to keep an eye out for my annoying boyfriend and avoid Sirius's eyes at the same time.

It's actually really odd. I would have imagined that Sirius would have avoided me like the plague, but he sat down right across from me and has been staring at me ever since. It's rather disconcerting. I swear he hasn't blinked in like three minutes. And you know what? The sick bloke is enjoying it! I know that he's indulging in the way I squirm around uncomfortably, like an ant under a magnifying glass.

"Courtney!"

I can't say I didn't wince and shrink down in my seat when I spotted Phillip coming my way.

"Hey, Phillip," I greeted with a pained smile as he sat down beside me.

"Drink some bad pumpkin juice?" Sirius sneered.

I glared at him before turning back to Phillip. I was very, very startled (and somewhat alarmed) when he kissed me. He's like-_like a surprise snogger_! Nobody likes a surprise snogger. What have I gotten myself into?

I panicked when I saw him coming in for a second kiss. My eyes desperately scanned the table for some help and nobody seemed too willing to give me a hand. I guess I had to get out of this myself. The first thing I saw was a plate of toast, so I did what I had to do.

I shoved a piece of toast into his opened gob.

And he choked.

I don't mean he coughed and sputtered a bit, I mean he _choked._

----------------

A half hour later, here I am in the hospital wing sitting next to Phillip. He was blue by the time I got him down here. Madam Pomfrey threw a fit when she saw me come in with him. After I was scolded (apparently I should have known how to save him), I was permitted to sit in a chair beside him.

"I'm so sorry about that, Phillip," I apologized.

"It's alright. I knew you wouldn't intentionally hurt me like that," he said, smiling.

I tried my best to pass my snort off as a cough, but I think Madam Pomfrey knew I really wasn't coughing.

"I, er, just thought you might like some toast," I lied weakly.

Merlin, I'm going to burn in hell.

A few awkward minutes later, Lily came in to get me for class. My stomach dropped when we got outside. Lily wasn't alone. She brought along the whole gang, all of which were glaring at me.

"What were you trying to do? Kill him?" James cried, throwing his hands up.

"Not really," I mumbled.

"Don't you ever think before you do things?" Lily asked sharply.

"Obviously not," Sirius snorted.

"I didn't expect him to choke on it!" I protested.

"You expected him to swallow a whole piece of toast when you shoved it down his throat unexpectedly?" Remus questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Peter, would you like to add anything to this?" I sighed wearily.

He shook his head at me.

"That's spectacular!" I said dryly, "You are going to be my new best friend."

I grabbed his arm roughly and proceeded to drag him down to Charms, leaving everyone else behind. To be honest, the boy looked terrified. I've always had the feeling I kind of intimidated him...

"W-what?" he stammered.

"Right now, you are the only person that isn't going to spout insults at me," I replied smartly, pushing him into the seat next to mine.

He gave me a wary look and let out a shuddering breath.

--------------

I have come to the conclusion that Peter Pettigrew is a mute. Either that or he's too frightened to engage in conversation with me. I've tried to talk about everything. I started out with the next Hogsmeade trip, went to candy, and then quidditch. I even tried to talk to him about girls! Although now he might think I'm a lesbian...

That's just peachy.

On top of all this, I swear that Sirius's eyes are burning a hole in the back of my head. He's been staring at me the entire class. I'm not sure why though. It's really bugging me.

A piece of wadded up parchment smacked the side of my face. I looked over to see Lily with her eyes transfixed on the note. I think she believes that she's sending me telepathic messages or something. I've always suspected that she might have a few loose screws in her head...

_Did you break up with Phillip yet?_

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. That seemed to alarm Peter seeing as he scooted his chair a little farther away from me. Did she really expect me to just break up with him today? What was I supposed to do? Tell him I didn't like him on our way to the hospital wing as he's choking?

_No! I told you I have to wait a while._

She scowled at me before returning to her conversation with James.

I can't please everyone, now can I?

---------------------

**Sirius's POV**

I am a horrible person. I don't think horrible even begins to cover it.

The day after one of my best mates tells me that he likes a girl, I go and snog her. Not only did I snog her, but she snogged me back. She also has a boyfriend. So, to sum it up, I snogged my friend's crush of two years who is some other blokes girlfriend who is also a close friend of mine. There are too many 'friends' in that sentence...

After that, she pretty much tells me that she wants nothing to do with me.

I will admit that this girl perplexes me. I honestly don't have any idea why I fancy her (yes, I've come to terms with it). There's really nothing special about her. She's not tall and leggy, which is quite desirable. She's average in height, which is alright. Her hair is long and jet black with loose curls at the bottom. She definitely doesn't make an effort with it. It's brushed out and that's it. Unlike other girls, she doesn't obsess over hair. Hair _is_ quite important. And then there's her eyes. They're grey, definitely not something special. I'm more of a blonde hair and blue eyes kind of guy, so why am I falling for _her_?

Courtney Meadowes frustrates me.

She keeps giving me funny looks because I've been staring at her. I'm just trying to figure out what it is about her that I like so much. There's just _something_ about her. ARGH! I just want to know what that bloody something is so I can get over it!

"Courtney doesn't seem to like her boyfriend that much," Remus commented quietly.

"I don't think she likes him at all," I muttered, finally taking my eyes off of her.

"Why is she dating him then?" he hissed.

"I dunno," I shrugged.

Remus gave a defeated sigh and slumped back in his seat.

I'm a terrible friend.

--------------------

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a moment?" Courtney asked on our way out of Charms, "In private?"

She gave a significant look to Lily, James, Remus, and Peter who stood rooted in their place. Once she realized that they didn't intend on moving, she got all huffy and shoved me into a broom closet. I can't say that this didn't excite me a bit.

"I knew you couldn't resist me," I said arrogantly, groping around in the dark to find her.

"I would really appreciate it if you stopped staring at me all the time," she snapped, "You've had your fun watching me squirm around under your piercing gaze, so now it's time to stop."

"I'm not trying to annoy you," I bit back.

"Oh, really?" she asked dryly.

Why did give me the urge to snog her senseless?

"Really," I growled.

"Either way, you need to stop gawking at me. To be honest with you, I find it quite alarming," she said.

Silence followed and I wasn't about to stand here in a broom closet all day with her. I mean, come on, I'm Sirius Black. I don't just stand in a broom closet with a girl. My hands started groping around again until I found her hair. It was soft and almost silky. I ran my fingers through it and tried to pull her closer, but she wouldn't budge.

"_Lumos_," she whispered.

Bugger.

"Sirius, why are you molesting that duster?" Courtney asked, giving me a funny look.

I stared at her and then the purple duster that was wedged in between two shelves. After it sunk it, I had the decency to open and close my mouth like a fish and turn red. I guess she's on the other side of the broom closet...

"Er...it's very soft and I was thinking about knicking it," I replied haughtily, ripping it from the shelves.

"Why would you steal a duster?" she questioned.

"Why wouldn't I?" I retorted, throwing the door open and stomping out with my purple duster in hand.

I attempted to salvage what little dignity I had left as I walked through the corridors, proudly displaying my purple duster. Many people did double-takes but I gave them dirty looks. Although when Regulus sniggered at me, I accidentlyonpurpose hexed him.

-------------

"Sirius," James started, "I was, er, well, actually we all were, wondering why you've been taking that purple duster everywhere with you."

"I happen to like this duster," I answered, caressing the object.

"Oh," he said, exchanging a worried glance with Remus.

I looked over at Courtney to see that she looked rather ill. She was almost green in the face. When I turned around, I found the reason.

"Hi, Phillip," she greeted half-heartedly.

I'm beginning to think that he stalks her.

"Wow, Courtney. You don't look so good," Phillip commented, taking a seat across from her and beside me.

I couldn't help but snort at that.

"I'm fine," she shrugged.

"I was wondering if you might want to take a walk with me," he said, looking hopeful.

I heard a clatter and looked over to see Remus drop his fork, his face turning red. I must admit that Remus has been taking this better than I have. Or he might be better at hiding it. Although I did find a picture in our dormitory that had a small stick-person with a spear through its head that looked suspiciously like Phillip. Come to think of it, I believe it was labeled as Phillip...in Remus's handwriting.

"It's cold enough to snow out there," Courtney pointed out.

"You can use my cloak," he offered.

"I'm sure she has her own cloak," I cut in, grinding my teeth.

Courtney gave me a puzzled look before standing up and walking away with Phillip. I sighed and glanced over at Remus who looked muderous. I can't say that I feel much better about the situation either.

-------------------

**Courtney's POV**

I shivered as soon as Phillip and I stepped outside. I instantly regretted ever coming out here with him in the first place. I just couldn't take Sirius any longer. He's been acting so strange lately. He was acting kind of odd before we kissed too.

I watched the stiff grass crunch beneath my feet as we walked along the lake. Phillip was quiet and kind of fidgety, giving me a quick glance every few seconds. His warm hand suddenly clasped on to mine. I turned to face him and then it happened again. I was the victim of a surprise snogging.

I couldn't just shove him away or anything. He _is_ my boyfriend. I didn't want him to think I didn't like him either, so I did what I had to do and kissed him back. It didn't feel right though. There weren't any pleasant chills coursing through my body, there wasn't any excitement when our lips connected, his touch didn't make my skin tingle, and my I didn't feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. I felt _nothing_. Everything that a kiss should have was missing. There wasn't a single spark between us. At that moment, I knew for sure that he wasn't right for me. He wasn't my 'Prince Charming'.

He wasn't Sirius.

-------------------

This isn't good. This is not good at all. I didn't think that this would ever happen to me.

I fancy Sirius Black.

Oh Merlin. Just thinking those words make me want to vomit. This can't be happening. I refuse to fancy him. Damn these teenage hormones...

No matter what happens though, I cannot give into him. A relationship with that prat wouldn't last longer than three days. I'm not about to get my heart broken over a stupid crush. I imagine that in a week or two, possibly a month, I will be over him. My infatuation with him won't last long. It's just physical attraction. It has to be. I've always acknowledged that he was very handsome, but I've never really been attracted to him like this. It was bound to happen I suppose. I'll just let it blow over and try to make sure that I don't get involved with him. _That_ is a brilliant plan. It's flawless.

I'm so angry with myself. Everytime I let my mind wander, I think of last night when I snogged him. I'm not going to say that it was horrible or dreadful. That would be a big, fat lie. It was wonderful. It felt the way a good kiss should feel.

_Perfect. _

---------------------

**A/N-**Aren't you proud of me? Haha, I'm proud of me. I was surprised I got this chapter up so soon but all those reviews motivated me. Hint hint. I know this chapter was kind of short but some stuff I feel needs to be in a different chapter. Within the next few chapters, Sirius's guilt will become more evident (as will his attraction to Courtney) so don't think that he totally disregards his friend's feelings. Hopefully the next chapters will give some more insight on the feelings of the characters. I just didn't want to jam it all into one chapter. **Reviews** would be greatly appreciated. A slice of pie (flavor of your choice) will be given with each review. Ice cream is also an option.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer-**I know that it may come as a shock to you, but I'm not J.K. Rowling and don't own Harry Potter.

**Thank you _so_ much for all of the reviews! I really appreciate all of them!**

**Chapter 12-**

I will not fancy Sirius Black.

I will not fancy Sirius Black.

I will not fancy Sirius Black.

Oh bugger. What's the use? I know I fancy him, but I'm just a little anxious for these crazy teenage hormones to calm down. That's all it is. Physical attraction. I can't help it if the stupid git is handsome.

It's been a week since I admitted my 'problem'. Lily doesn't know yet. Although I don't think I would ever admit to _anyone _that I fancy Sirius. Besides, it isn't some kind of grand news.

I would have imagined that I would start to like him less and less, but sadly that isn't happening. Normally things like this don't last long for me. I'll like someone for a week or two and then completely forget they exsist. But not this time. Every day my attraction to him intensifies tenfold. I'm at the point where I'm feeling extremely alarmed. This isn't normal for me.

He's everywhere I go! I can't escape from him. He's always there, grinning like the arrogant prat that he is. To put it bluntly, it's driving my teenage girl hormones crazy. Let me tell you, it really doesn't help anything when he knows about the power he wields. I know that he knows that I know he knows I fancy him.

He has turned me into a mental nutcase.

To add to this stress, Phillip is shadowing every step I take. If Sirius hadn't already driven me insane, I would say that Phillip has. He can't take credit for that though. Phillip and his bloody surprise snogging are really getting on my nerves. Sometimes I'll just turn around in the corridor and unexpectantly get mauled by his open gob. It's not exactly what I call attractive. What's even weirder is that girls actually like this. I've been told several times that I'm lucky to have such a good looking and all around great bloke like Phillip. They obviously haven't spent more than five minutes with him. When he isn't surprise snogging me, he rambles on about bloody quidditch. I swear that he has some queer man-crush on this seeker, Yates.

Oh, but the fun of this past week isn't over yet. Remus has been acting like a moody jerk! I don't think I've seen him smile at all this week and it's kind of creepy. Nothing that James, Peter, or Sirius do can make him grin. Even _I_ laughed when Sirius dressed like a girl for a day. I think that's saying something because it was my school uniform that he stole. Anything that anyone says to him, he either ignores or says something rude back. I've never seen Remus Lupin like this. Perhaps he's having his period.

Wait. Blokes don't have periods. Scratch that then.

Right now I'm hidden under a mountain of blankets in the common room. I have pretty much brought my dormitory to the couch. It's actually quite comfortable...in a claustrophobic kind of way. I've been sat on a couple times. It tends to frighten people when a pile of blankets grunts and groans though.

"Have you seen her today, Wormtail?"

I freeze when I hear Remus's voice coming closer. The cushions on the couch squeak and moan when Remus and Peter roughly drop themselves down on the other end.

"Not since dinner when she...er," Peter started coughing.

"Spit it out already," Remus snapped.

"She was, er, going in a broom closet with Phillip," Peter finished.

I cringed at the memory. He was trying to be romantic but it only resulted in him looking like a lame moron. Although it wasn't anything I didn't already know.

I was yanked out of the disturbing recollection by a familiar snort.

"It looked more like he was trying to kidnap her," Sirius said bitterly.

I made a little peep-hole with my blankets so I could see Sirius. He was lounging on a chair across from the couch. His legs were hanging over the side and his arms were crossed in a childish way, like he was pouting.

Why do I feel really warm all of a sudden?

Stop staring at him.

Stop it!

I guess it wouldn't hurt just to take another peek. I don't get to stare at him any other time. People would notice. Besides, nobody knows I'm under these blankets. I can safely admire him from here.

That sounded very stalker-ish.

Oooh, he's stretching!

ARRRGH! STOP IT! Bad Courntey, bad!

I just need to look at something else, like my fingernail.

Oh sweet Merlin, did I just see some stomach?

I did. And now I'm grinning like a fool. He has a very nice stomach.

Must resist the urge to squeal like a girl.

Must resist the urge to squeal like a girl.

Must resist the urge to squeal like a girl.

"Eeemphf!"

"What the bloody hell was that?" Peter asked, giving the pile of blankets a wary look.

OK, so I kind of couldn't keep it in. At least it was a muffled squeal. It could have been worse. I could have been really obvious about it.

"It sounded like an ill cat," Sirius commented, staring at the blankets now too.

I'm definitely offended by that one. An ill cat?

"I'm going to the library," Remus announced in a bored tone.

"Come on, Moony! You need to snap out of it," Sirius argued, "Just hang out here with us for a while."

"You needed help with your Charms, didn't you, Peter?" Remus questioned, ignoring Sirius.

"Er, yeah, but we don't have to-"

"We'll see you later, Padfoot," Remus said curtly, striding out of the common room with Peter following.

Sirius sighed and slumped further down in his chair. His hair, which is getting rather long, fell over his eyes. I watched in amusement as he kept trying to blow his hair out of his eyes. He scowled at his hair before using his hands to push it away. A few minutes later, he stalked up to his dormitory.

After about ten minutes of watching a group of third year boys harass a girl, I got bored and went to my dormitory, my mountain of blankets in tow. I hardly walked through the door before Lily came bustling in behind me. She start prattling on about the History of Magic test tomorrow and how she had Head duties. In a flash, she was out the door again, leaving a whirlwind of stray parchment behind her.

I groaned and pulled out my notes to study for the test. I was startled to find that I actually took notes. Real notes. Not pictures or rude comments, educational information. That's definitely a first.

In about five minutes, I felt my eyes drooping and my quill scratching away. Soon my parchment was covered in small hearts with the intials S.B. scrawled in the middle. I smiled lazily when I discovered that some of the hearts now contained the intials C.B. instead. I'm pathetic. Actually, pathetic isn't even the right word.

"I cannot stand those annoying little prefects!" Lily screeched, walking into the dormitory.

That was a wake-up call. I jumped and grabbed my notes, clutching them close to my chest. I hastily shoved them into my bag, hoping that Lily didn't notice anything strange about my behavior.

I was relieved when Lily went into a complete rant about how they never listened and stuff along those lines. I was able to tune her out relatively quick and fall asleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.

You see, if you tell yourself that, it _has to _be a better day. I'm quite clever.

-----------------

"Can I borrow your Transfiguration notes for that essay?" Sirius asked, stuffing some potatoes in his mouth at dinner.

"I guess so," I shrugged, handing him the notes from my bag.

"I'll have them back by tomorrow," he assured me.

I wrinkled my nose in disgust when potatoes sprayed over the table. It's times like these that I really have to wonder why I fancy him...

"Here _it_ comes," Lily sighed, watching Phillip amble over to us.

"Hello, beautiful," Phillip greeted, making room for himself between Sirius and I.

I quickly turned my head when I saw him come in for a surprise snog. I'm getting quite good at avoiding the meal time snoggings. He always gets my cheek now. I stopped shoving food in his mouth a day or two after the toast incident. I guess you can choke on grapes too...

"Well, as much as I would love to stay here and eat with everyone, I have to, er," I paused, "I have to do something for someone that, er, needs doing right away."

That was a very nice, vague, and stupid lie. I glared at Sirius when he sniggered. He really does have a dirty mind.

"Really? Well, it sounds urgent," James muttered, not even looking up at me.

Phillip stood up and was about to open his mouth, so I did what any sane person would do. I ran out of the Great Hall. Under no circumstances was he going to follow me anywhere. He's too bloody nice and helpful. It's really getting on my nerves.

--------------

Why does Lily have to patrol all the time? Personally, I don't think she's really patrolling. I think that's just her excuse to go play tonsil hockey with James. It's very frustrating. I have nothing to do all night. It's only eight and I'm already bored out of my mind. I'm avoiding the common room because Sirius might be down there and I must get over this stupid crush. I can't leave the common room though because Phillip will find me. He always does. So I'm trapped in my dormitory doing nothing.

I suppose I could read for a while. It's not going to kill me...I think.

I trudged over to the end of my bed and started searching through my bag for the book. After having a quill nearly go through my hand, I dumped all the contents out of my bag to look for it. I was surprised when I saw my Transfiguration notes on top of everything. I thought I gave those to-

Oh no...Oh no...

"ARRRRGH!"

I frantically searched through all of my stuff, looking for the History of Magic notes that I doodled on. They were missing. I gave them to Sirius today...

Damn. This is bad. Very bad.

I have to get those notes back. I just have to pray that he didn't start on his essay. Then again, who am I kidding? It's Sirius. He won't start on it until tomorrow morning. I just have to get those notes back before he sees them.

What am I going to do? I can't just demand that he give them back. I don't want to do it...but I'm going to have to.

---------------

It's now ten. I can't wait any longer. I have to get those notes back. I will surely die of embarassment if he finds them and sees all the little hearts with his intials in them. They should all be asleep by now so I can just sneak up to their dormitory and snatch those notes back without them ever knowing.

Clad in old, worn sweatpants and a tiedye t-shirt with a chocolate ice cream stain on it, I tried my best to be stealthy and sneak up to their dormitory. I was pleased to hear a chorus of snores upon entering the room. I tried to get to Sirius's bed without tripping over the various articles of clothing, books, and dungbombs strewn across the floor.

Nobody ever said I was graceful though.

"Oomph!"

James stirred in his sleep, grunting and stretching his arms. I stood there completely frozen, someone's Transfiguration book now on the other side of the room. I let out my breath when I heard him snore again and roll over, completely asleep still.

I finally managed to get to Sirius's bed where I searched the nightstand. I accidently bumped the bed. I quickly looked over to see if I woke him. The only problem was, there was no Sirius.

My eyes widened and my stomach dropped when I realized that he wasn't asleep because he wasn't in the dormitory. My eyes darted over to the door when I heard it creak open. My chest tightened and I felt sick when I saw Sirius enter. I dropped to the floor as fast as I could and rolled under his bed. He didn't seem to notice so I just stayed where I was. I would just have to wait until he fell asleep to get the notes and get out.

I watched his legs as he walked around all the junk on the floor. He came to a stop in front of me. My heart pounded in my chest because I thought he knew I was under his bed. Apparently he didn't. He didn't say anything or look down so I was still safely hidden.

Oh.Sweet.Merlin.

If my heart was pounding before, it must be ready to burst out of my chest now. My eyes turned to the size of dinner plates when I saw his trousers drop to the ground in front of me. He's undressing...Oh, this can't be good.

I watched the tie hit the floor as well as his shirt. And then, I spotted them. The notes were on the floor...right beside the trousers. I felt nausea wash over me when I spotted all the little hearts scribbled on the parchment. I had to get those notes.

Sirius started moving again. This time he was headed towards the loo. I had only a few precious seconds to manuever myself from under the bed, grab the notes, and get out of this booby-trapped room. The moment that door clicked shut, I tried to roll out from under the bed.

Oh no...

Who puts old gum under their bed? Honestly. My sweatpants are attached to the floor under his bed because he has bloody gum plastered on the floor. It's really disgusting...and quite sticky. I desperately tried to free myself. It just wouldn't let me go. I was like Super Gum or something. I started to panic when I thought about what would happen if he found me under his bed. I had to get out of here fast. At the sound of the toilet flushing, I gave one last final yank on my sweatpants and I was released.

I snatched the notes from the floor and started to sneak to the door. It's quite difficult when it's dark. It was then that I fell to my death. His trousers had got tangled between my legs and I went hurtling face-first to the floor.

Then the bathroom door clicked open.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sirius hissed.

Don't look up at him. Just keep your head down and don't let him see the notes. Don't look up.

"I, er, just came to say hello," I muttered pathetically.

"What do you have there?" he asked, nudging the notes in hand with his foot.

"Oh, I decided that I wanted to start on that essay and I figured I would just bring you back the notes when I finished," I replied cheerfully.

"Really?" Sirius questioned, sounding amused by my stupid excuse.

See! He knows what kind of power he has!

I know he has one eyebrow raised. I just know it. I like it when he does that...

"Yes?" I whimpered.

I knew I was doomed when I looked up.

Even though it was dark, I could still see his raised eyebrow...and his chest (which was quite nice) and what I imagine are navy blue boxers.

This _really_ isn't helping me get over my crush on Sirius.

I didn't have any idea what I should be doing right now. Should I be afraid that he's going to get the notes back and see them or should I be gawking at him? Well, I'm gawking at him. I need to get out of here. I have the notes. There's no reason for me to be here. I can't let him see them.

But I want to stare at him.

But I can't.

I want to, but I can't.

Why am I not moving?

With all the strength I could muster, I beat down my hormones and ran. Well, I did the best I could. I really didn't want to fall again. That would be a bit on the embarassing side. I shot out the door like a bat out of hell and ran down the steps like a stampeding buffalo.

As I entered the common room, I thought I was in the clear until I felt someone latch on to my arm. I jerked my arm in a lame attempt to free myself. Yeah. Right.

It was Sirius and he wasn't looking too happy. He wasn't really clothed either. I honestly need to stay away from this boy. He's turning my head into mush.

"Why do I have a feeling that you're lying?" he questioned, moving closer.

I couldn't say anything. My throat went dry. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but finally snapped it shut to stop myself from looking like even more of an idiot. He seemed a lot closer than he was before. I feel like I'm on fire now. I closed my eyes when he rested his hand on my hip.

No. I'm not going to give in. I can't.

I felt a pleasant chill travel up my spine when he brushed the hair away from my face. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Our faces were only a few inches apart. I was going to push him, tell him I wasn't ever going to kiss him again, and walk away, but I couldn't. Instead, I did what I told myself I would never do again...I kissed him.

He pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed together. My hands roamed over his bare chest until they curled around his neck to bring me even closer to him. Warm little tingles spread through my body when he emitted a low groan, making me smile against his lips.

The dying fire gave one last resounding crack that made us jump apart. His arms tightened around my waist, like he knew I was thinking about running.

"You're not getting away again," he breathed.

"Who said I was going anywhere?" I whispered, not taking my eyes off his.

-----------------

"Your aim is horrible," Sirius laughed as yet another piece of popcorn bounced off his forehead.

I gave him a half-hearted glare as I threw a handful of popcorn at him. He grinned and ate it happily, throwing the last piece back at me.

After I agreed to come back, Sirius had let me go up to my dormitory and bring back a couple blankets. When I came back down, he had the popcorn. I really have no idea where it came from. I was a bit hesitant on eating it at first, but I soon found out that it was fine when Sirius shoved a handful of it in his mouth.

For the past half hour or so, we've been laying on the couch with our feet on opposite ends throwing popcorn into each other's mouths. I've been trying to at least. I really do have horrible aim.

"Can I ask you something?" Sirius questioned, tossing a piece of popcorn into my opened mouth.

"I suppose so," I shrugged.

"Why are you with Phillip?" he asked softly.

"I don't really know," I replied, laughing bitterly.

"Do you, er, fancy him?" he asked.

"No, not at all," I answered, "To tell you the truth, I find him to be a very annoying and dull individual."

Sirius laughed at me, shaking his head.

"He can't be _that_ bad. Loads of girls like him," Sirius argued.

"Believe me, he is that bad. You've seen him at meals! He practically stalks me and then with that bloody surprise snogging!" I ranted.

"Surprise snogging?" he repeated.

"Yes, surprise snogging. He just kind of attacks me with his mouth. He frightens me a bit at times with it. I feel like I'm being eaten. I've discovered that the best thing to do is just stand there and take it. It's worse when he's talking though. I think he has a crush on a man that plays quidditch..." I said, shuddering at the thought.

"Why are you dating him then?" Sirius asked, nudging my leg.

"I honestly don't know," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

I felt some tension building so I grabbed some popcorn and threw it at him. He grinned at me before dumping all his popcorn over my head. If my hair wasn't a giant tangled mess, it wouldn't have bothered me, but now it looks like I have hair pieces that look like popcorn.

"Cute, Sirius," I muttered, picking popcorn out of my hair, "Real cute."

"I thought so," he smirked.

"We should probably be in bed right now," I commented.

"You're probably right. We'll both be falling asleep in Potions tomorrow," Sirius yawned.

We said our good-nights and started walking towards our respective set of stairs. Just as I reached the foot of the stairs, I felt Sirius spin me around and give me one last soft kiss. I felt the butterflies in my stomach go wild as I watched him jog over to the steps to his dormitories, still in just his boxers.

"I don't get to do that whenever I want, you know," he grinned, "So I take what I can get."

I lightly ran my fingers over my lips, still staring at the steps he had just disappeared up. I could still feel them tingling from the contact and it made me smile.

I'm really not making any progress with the whole 'stop liking Sirius Black' thing...

-----------------

**A/N-**So I was a little late getting this updated...I tried to be swift. You have to give me credit. Hehe, some more stuff going on between Sirius and Courtney. This is only the beginning of many situations between them. I have a mere nine days of freedom left before I become enslaved at school again so updates will most likely be slower than usual (which is at the pace of turtles stampeding through peanut butter). I don't know whether or not I'll get a new chapter up before September (which really isn't that far away if you think about it). I'll be camping this weekend coming up so I'll try my best to get a chapter up before then. Reviews tend to motivate me to update faster, hint hint. Please **review**. I suppose I'll make a batch of sugar cookies this time around.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer-**I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters that you recognize.

**WOW! Thank you guys SO much for all the reviews on the last chapter! You guys rock!**

**Dale, this chapter is in honor of the agony we go through everyday with the blur of idiotic comments...May we be able to keep our brain cells!**

**Chapter 13-**

I groaned and rolled over in my bed sleepily when I heard Lily snapping at me to wake up. Images from last night flooded through my mind, almost like a dam had been let loose. I let my lips curve into a smile, remembering the way Sirius's lips had felt against mine. A warm sensation settled itself in my stomach, making my smile grow wider.

It's a shame this feeling didn't last long.

Everything bad about the previous night seemed to drop on me like a ton of bricks. I remembered everything about last night with so much detail that it was uncomfortable. A sickening feeling quickly pushed away the warm sensation for claim of my stomach. I had kissed Sirius...again. I was unfaithful to my boyfriend...again. I had made the relationship between Sirius and I awkward...again.

You would have thought that I might have learned the first time around, now wouldn't you?

I really have no idea what is going on between us now. Oh Merlin. I hope he doesn't assume we're together or anything. That would be disastrous. Does this mean I have to talk to him about this? Oh, I really don't want to. It's going to be terribly awkward. Why do I always do this to myself?

Maybe he'll just act like nothing happened. I think that sounds like a good way to approach the situation. Pretend that nothing happened between us at all. That's the only way to handle this. Phillip can't know anything about this. As annoying as he may be, I would rather not hurt his feelings. I just hope Sirius can keep his mouth shut about this.

It's times like these that I wish I could talk to someone about this. I just don't think I could recover from the embarassment of telling my best friend that I snogged Sirius Black on more than one occassion voluntarily. The person I normally tell my problems to just happens to _be_ the problem, so I seemed to have drawn the short straw on that one.

It's really starting to build up inside of me. It's like snow. It just keeps building up in front of your door and soon enough you'll end up snowed in if you don't shovel it away. I really need to start shoveling my snow... I'll just have to buck up and risk Lily thinking I'm mad.

No, I can't. I can't tell her. I don't want to!

It's not about whether I want to or not. I _need _to...for the sake of my sanity.

"Lily," I croaked.

"What is it?" she asked impatiently, scurrying around the dormitory to gather books.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I questioned quietly.

Lily gave me a sympathetic look when she heard the tone of my voice. Although it _might_ have been the way my face contorted in agony at the thought of telling her about snogging Sirius.

"Sure," she responded, sitting on the end of my bed.

"I really don't know how to say this," I started, staring at my hands, "It's rather embarassing."

"You can tell me anything, Courtney," Lily said sincerely.

"What would you say if I told you that I, er, might have kissed Sirius?" I mumbled, feeling a hot blush rush to my face.

There was a long pause where Lily just stared at me with her mouth hanging open a bit, making her look rather unattractive. Her green eyes were wide and she looked startled.

I really wish she would respond sometime soon...

"You _what_?" she sputtered.

Not the response I was looking for...

"I knew I never should have told you!" I moaned, throwing my hands over my face.

"I'm sorry," Lily apologized, pulling my hands away from my face, "I just have one thing to ask you...Why? Why would you kiss_ him_? What on earth could have possibly posessed you to kiss that prat?"

"I don't know," I whimpered, but upon seeing the glare from Lily, added, "Well, I might fancy him a bit."

"Oh no, this is worse than I thought. You fancy Sirius Black? The same Sirius Black that we've made bets on for the past two years? The same Sirius Black that has been your enemy nearly the entire time you've been at Hogwarts? The same Sirius Black who has never had a real relationship, only a series of flings? The same Sirius Black that you vowed you would _never_ fancy, even if he was the last man on earth? The same Sirius-"

"Yes, the same bloody Sirius Black!" I snapped, crossing my arms like a pouting child, "It's not like I chose to fancy the stupid git."

"You have a boyfriend," she cried, narrowing her eyes, "I told you to break up with him ages ago! Did you listen to me? NO!"

I looked down at my hands again, knowing that she was right. If I had just broken up with Phillip then, I wouldn't be in this mess. I would be free to snog whoever I wanted without having this bloody guilt hanging over my head. I don't really want to snog Sirius though. Well, I actually do want to snog him. A lot. But I shouldn't because he can't be in a real relationship and I just shouldn't fancy a bloke like him. The only thing keeping my tongue out of his throat right now is Phillip, even if I don't like him. Maybe in some twisted way, Phillip is a bit of a blessing at this time.

I shall take the time to once again curse the teenage hormones that run through my body with free reign.

If I break up with him, I know that nothing will be able to stop Sirius from pursuing me. There won't be anything to stop me from giving in either. We'll probably be snogging buddies for a couple of days and then he'll leave me for someone better. If I break up with Phillip, there won't be anything stopping me from getting my heart broken. Is it really worth it?

"I'll break up with him at breakfast," I sighed.

"Good," she grinned.

--------------------

"Er, Phillip, could I talk to you for a minute?" I asked hesitantly at breakfast.

"Yeah, sure," he said with a beaming smile.

He followed me out into the corridors silently, slipping his hand into mine with a grin. My stomach felt like it had been dropped off the Astronomy Tower when he did that simple gesture of affection. I came to a stop and turned to face him, quickly dodging a surprise snog. He looked so happy and I felt horrible. I admit that my idea of waiting to break up with him was completely stupid. I never should have said yes in the first place. I took a deep breath to get myself prepared. Just as I was about to take the plunge, a familiar voice rang out in the nearly empty corridor.

"Courtney!" Sirius greeted cheerfully, bounding over to us.

"Oh Merlin, no," I breathed, watching in horror as Sirius came closer.

"What's wrong?" Phillip asked anxiously when my face turned white.

"Nothing," I lied, "Nothing at all. I'm perfectly fine."

He halted in front of us and smiled. He looked too happy. It was making me quite suspicious to tell you the truth. Sirius Black isn't the kind of person that smiles just because thinks it's a great day to be alive. There's something going on.

"It's a beautiful morning, isn't it, Phillip?" Sirius questioned enthusiastically, clapping Phillip on the back but keeping his eyes on me.

"Perfect," he responded, grinning even wider from the positive attention from Sirius.

He's up to something! I just know it! I've seen that look before! His eyes had that same manical gleam in them that time in fourth year when he returned my lost Charms book. He had of course charmed it to look like something dirty to everyone else. I had been completely oblivious about it until Lily asked me why I had a book with nude people on the front of it in class.

"Sirius, I think you should go," I growled.

"She's in a mood _again_," Phillip whispered to him, but upon seeing my unwavering glare hastily added, "That's alright though. Everyone has bad days. She's a great girl most of the time."

"Ah, yes, a great kisser too," Sirius said casually, nodding his head.

My eyes bugged out of my head and I started choking on my own breath. Please tell that he didn't _really_ say that. It's just my imagination...Or not.

Phillip started nodding along with Sirius until the words finally registered in his head. His brows furrowed briefly before his eyes narrowed dangerously at me. I gulped.

"What?" Phillip asked, grinding his teeth, any trace of his calm demeanor vanishing.

Sirius gave me a triumphant smile and winked. This is one of those times when I really want to cause him bodily harm...I was thinking something along the lines of hacking him up into little pieces and feeding him to the thestrals.

"What?" I repeated, giving him my best innocent look.

"What?" Phillip questioned, turning to face Sirius, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Is that a hickey I see?" Sirius clucked, moving my hair away from my neck.

I shivered when his fingers lightly brushed my neck...then I realized what he had said.

"I do not have a hickey!" I cried indignantly.

"It looks like a hickey to me," Phillip said coldly, "And I know that _I_ didn't do that."

He once again turned to Sirius with a look of pure contempt. This is completely ridiculous!

"It was not Sirius! We didn't even get that far!" I snapped.

Oh dear Merlin. I did not just say that. _Please _tell me I did not just say that...Where the hell is that bolt of lightning? I'd really like it now.

Phillip looked as though someone had struck him across the face. I felt my stomach plummet when I heard my words echo mockingly back at me in my head, taunting me, congratulating me with a sneer about another job well done.

"So that's where Remus was last night," Sirius said slowly, having a difficult time suppressing his grin.

"I was not snogging Remus last night!" I protested hotly.

"Where did that hickey come from then?" Phillip spat, hurt splashed across his face.

"There is no hickey! It wasn't from Remus _or_ Sirius!" I bit back.

"Oh, so there were other guys then?" he shouted.

"There were no other guys! Would you just calm down, Phillip?" I yelled, scowling at the boy in front of me.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down after finding out that you've been cheating on me with Merlin knows how many other guys? This isn't a situation that should be handled in a calm manner. I just can't believe that you would do something like that. Courtney, I really think that we ought to break up considering that I obviously can't satisfy you," Phillip said icily, throwing his hands in the air before stalking off.

I stared after Phillip in disbelief. That really wasn't how I planned on that going. _I_ was supposed to break up with _him_, not the other way around. He thinks I'm some kind of slut now, going around and snogging random blokes. This is all Sirius's fault. I whipped around to face him, glaring and shaking my head.

"I cannot believe you!" I shrieked, glaring at Sirius before stomping off back to the Great Hall.

------------------------

**Sirius's POV**

Bugger...

That wasn't supposed to happen like that. Actually, that wasn't supposed to happen at all. When I saw her with him, I just kind of lost my control. I should have just walked past and ignored them, no matter how difficult it would have been.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I'm going to have to face her sometime. What better time than now? I'm not going to skip breakfast just because she's upset with me either. I can't act like a chicken now. I walked towards the doors that would lead me to my doom. My legs felt like they were made of lead as I forced them forward.

"So, did you, well, you know?" Lily whispered to Courtney.

"Not exactly," she responded stiffly, glaring at me as I sat down next to Peter.

"How long are you going to let this go on for?" Lily snapped.

"Don't worry, Lily. It's over between Phillip and I. I have Sirius to thank for that," Courtney smiled bitterly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking between Courtney and I in shock.

Courtney didn't answer her. She shot me one last contemptous glare before storming out of the Great Hall with her fists clenched, her knuckles on the verge of turning white.

--------------

"What is wrong with you tonight?" Melanie hissed.

What's wrong with me? How do you tell your latest fling that you're overwhelmed with guilt because you snogged one of your best mate's crush of nearly two years? Not only did you snog the said crush, but you can't stop thinking about her. You've also recently broken her up with her boyfriend for selfish reasons, all the while having an internal battle with your conscience, which mockingly claims that you're in denial and 'fancy the pants off her', which, of course, is not true...is it? Somedays I think it is true and other days I whole-heartedly refuse to believe it. Sirius Black doesn't moon over girls.

"Nothing," I assured her.

"Good," she said, pressing her lips up against mine and backing me into the wall of the dark broom closet.

I inwardly grimaced. It just didn't feel right. It was impossible to snog her when all I could think about was Courtney. I remembered the way Courtney was always hesitant at first but would soon kiss me back with the same lust. I always felt like I was in the right place when I kissed her...I suppose I felt the same way after kissing her too. She always looked flustered afterwards. It was strangely endearing.

The more I thought about Courtney, the more I could feel myself kissing Melanie back.

I knew that I could never have Courtney because of Remus's feelings for her. I already felt horrible for snogging her and thinking about her. I know that I shouldn't have these type of feelings for her, but I just can't seem to stop them or get rid of them. It's was almost physically painful to see her with Phillip. It's almost worse accepting the fact that I can never be with her because Remus feels the way he does. They'll probably fall in love, get married, and have loads of kids while I go through life pretty much alone because I have the inability to commit.

I will, of course, continue seeing girls frequently only to leave them a few days later. The world lacks interesting girls. Nearly all of them seem to be the same. Don't get me wrong, there are some unique girls too. There's only one of them that I can see myself with though. I know that I certainly wouldn't get bored of her and leave her. We would argue a lot and make it difficult for each other, but it would be worth it. The problem is that it will never happen.

Then again, even if Remus didn't fancy her, who said that she would even return the feelings? Maybe what she feels for me goes nothing beyond physical attraction. Maybe that's all the further my feelings go for her. Everything is such a jumble in my head these days that it's hard to tell what I think and feel. Perhaps I'm mistakening a simple attraction for something more or maybe I'm not.

Either way, I'll never have her so I guess I'll have to make do with what I do have, even if it isn't what I want. I'll have to trick myself into believing that I'm really kissing Courtney and not some other girl...again. It's the best I can do for now...and pretty much forever.

--------------------

**Courtney's POV**

"I still can't believe he did that!" I spat, pacing back and forth in front of Lily's bed.

"I know, I know. He acted like a complete arse, you're furious with him, and never want to talk to him again," Lily sighed wearily, "Will you please just let it go?"

"Let it go!" I cried, "I am not letting this go! What he did was utterly rude and uncalled for!"

"I'd really like to go to sleep now," Lily yawned, pulling her blanket up to her chin.

"Sleep? How can you sleep at a time like this?" I gaped.

"Courtney, you're making a big deal out of this. Just take a deep breath and forget about it," she suggested hopefully.

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled.

"Alright, well, I'm going to sleep. If I have to cast a silencing charm, I will," Lily said sleepily, closing her eyes.

I glared at her before getting into bed too, preparing myself for a restless night.

---------------------

**A/N-** Just bear with me on this obnoxiously long author's note. I'm really sorry that I took so long to get this chapter up. Not only did I take forever to get this up, but it was short, and in my opinion, not very good. I honestly would have had this up over two weeks ago had it not been for the bee. It decided that it wanted to visit me in my computer room. I have an insane phobia of bees. After slicing my foot open on a drum cymbal, colliding head-first with a guitar and nearly falling down a flight of steps, I escaped. Sadly, I had to go camping after that...not an enjoyable experience. I didn't get to finish the chapter until now, even though I had planned on it being longer. With school starting up again, I've had quite a bit of work added on to my normal chores (insert angry muttering and cursing). I knew that if I didn't post it now, it would probably be a while before I got to post it. I have plenty of work planned all weekend (insert sarcastic cheering and glare towards horses in barn). I imagine that everyone is hoping that I stop spouting my excuses but I feel the need to explain why I didn't get this chapter up until like two weeks after I said I would. It will most likely be a while before I get the time to get another chapter done. I'm _really_ sorry. Believe me, I'd **_much_** rather be writing this than doing algebra or cleaning stalls. If you actually read all this, thanks a lot. Please **review**.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer-** You would think that after having so much time to think that I would have come up with a really witty disclaimer…I didn't though so I'll just go with the blunt 'I don't own Harry Potter.'

**Thanks a lot for all the reviews on the last chapter! I'm sorry that I took forever and a half to get this short little chapter up, but at least it's something! Please review again!**

**Chapter 14-**

"It's not going to just disappear," a blonde girl snapped in exasperation before storming away.

I gave her retreating back a dirty look before frowning back at myself in the lavatory mirror. My fingers ran over the splotch on my neck. I didn't know how it got there exactly but I was almost positive that it was Sirius's doing. It had to be…unless I have some undiscovered disease which causes random love bites to appear on me.

…That would be very unfortunate. Everyone would think I was a slut, which I obviously wouldn't be, due to the rare skin disorder it would just appear that way. If you're going to get a bad reputation, I think you deserve to have fun getting it. A skin disease would be lame…and boring.

"A watched kettle never boils!"

I whipped around to see a small group of sniggering third years shuffling out the door. The smirks were evident on their smug faces.

"Was that comment necessary?!" I shouted angrily at the empty lavatory.

My chest swelled with relief. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The release of those angry words made me feel wonderful. Perhaps I just needed to vent more.

"Yeah, that's right! Just run from the crazy girl staring at her hickey! As hard as it may be to believe, _I am_ aware that it will not just magically disappear if I gawk at it long enough! Well, it's not even mine! I don't know how it got there! So…there! No, wait, I do! It's a skin disease! Did you hear that? _DISEASE_! It's fatal too! And you know who I got it from? BLOODY SIRIUS BLACK! He's like a rat carrying the plague! He's a stupid wanker! _Stupid, stupid, stupid wanker!_"

I yanked my hair in frustration and stomped my feet harshly. After taking one last deep breath, I fixed my disarrayed hair, smoothed my robes, and smiled at myself in the mirror. As I turned around to proudly march out of the lavatory, a small girl with the eyes the size of milk saucers caught my eye.

"Er…" I started awkwardly.

The girl looked at me in horror and scurried out of the bathroom like I told her I was going to kill her mother. I suppose next time I'll make sure I'm alone…

-----------

Don't strangle him.

That would be murder…and murder would mean spending the rest of my life in Azkaban…which at this point doesn't seem all that bad.

I sucked in a deep breath in hopes of calming myself. I found that, even after I exhaled, my eyes were still narrowed dangerously at the boy down the hall, talking to a tall brunette. I felt an odd combination of emotions churning around in my stomach. I was still angry at him for acting like an arse, but I felt sharp pangs of jealousy and envy course through me. How on earth could I possibly even w_ant_ to be with that jerk now? The workings of a teenage mind will forever remain a mystery.

I let a slew of curse words tumble out of my mouth while I made my way steadily towards Sirius and the stupid slut he was sweet-talking.

OK, maybe she isn't _that_ stupid. She's only ranked about fourth in our year...Like _that's_ anything to be proud of! And I might have exaggerated a bit when I used the term slut. Just a bit though!

Alright, I admit it. I'm jealous as hell. That doesn't actually even begin to cover it. It makes me feel horrible seeing as Beth is a really nice girl. She actually lends me her notes sometimes. I often wonder if I was a mass murderer in a past life because I seem to have an awful lot of wretched luck.

The way I see it, it can't really get any worse. I've already made a fool of myself in more ways than I ever thought humanly possible, so I might as well finish it off and shoot whatever meager chance I had at a social life. I'm really just putting it out of its misery. Poor thing. It's an act of compassion.

"I'd like that," Beth said coyly, smiling at Sirius.

"You know what I'd like?" I asked sharply, coming up behind the two.

Sirius looked startled when he heard my voice. His expression quickly changed to dread when he saw the furious look on my face. I couldn't help but relate to him. I was afraid of what I was about to say too.

"Do I have to answer that?" he questioned tentatively.

"I'd like you to grow up, Sirius. I'd like you to stop being an arse and I'd like you to—" I paused and composed myself, wiping at my wet eyes, "I'm going to save my breath. You don't care what I'd like or what anyone else would like. If you don't care, I don't care! I give up!"

Taking the hint, Beth quietly tried to walk away from the scene. I let out a shaky breath that ripped at my throat. I didn't remember the tears welling up in my eyes or anything after that. The only thing that I'll ever remember about that moment was seeing Sirius go after her. It was a hard dose of reality.

It was all some hopeless dream that I'd conjured in my mind…

-------------

One thing that all teenagers learn is that rumors spread like wildfire. Another thing that teenagers learn is that rumors are completely and utterly stupid and not true in the least and were just created by come catty girl to get back at an equally catty girl for some stupid reason and sometimes result in an innocent passerby's life being destroyed. Although for the past seven years I've managed to keep myself off this rumor radar, I found myself bursting onto the scene with not just one delicious scrap of gossip, but two! Yes, you heard it. There were two lovely rumors circulating through Hogwarts that involved me, and coincidentally, Sirius Black. Not only had I cheated on Phillip with him, but I had contracted some strange skin disease from him.

Strangely enough, there was some truth to these rumors. For the first time in Hogwarts history, a valid rumor has been created. I really would have preferred to have a different rumor spread about me. I think that a highly contagious butt rash would have been suitable. Anything but snogging Sirius Black.

"Have you heard the ridiculous rumors going around?" James asked during lunch.

"The one about the girl with butt rash?" Peter questioned.

"If only, if only," I sighed wistfully to myself.

"No, the one about Courtney and Sirius shagging," James responded casually.

I'm not going to lie and say that some kind of liquid didn't come spraying from mouth. I'm also not going to lie and say that I didn't notice the way everyone's eyes (with the exception of James) bugged out. It was apparent that nobody had heard this rumor. Not even _I _had heard this one and I've had about twenty people ask me about Sirius today.

"You didn't tell me _that!_" Lily cried, looking completely appalled, "You just—"

"Told you about the one where I got the weird skin disease from him," I finished hurriedly.

"How could you not have heard about the shagging rumor? How do you think you got that disease?" James scoffed.

"I am not diseased!" Sirius snapped indignantly.

"Wait, what's this disease called?" Peter asked.

"There is no disease," I said, rolling my eyes.

"It's called Terminal Hickey Syndrome, or THS," James replied wisely, and then, lowering his voice to a whisper, said, "It's fatal so it's best not to talk about it too much…bad luck."

Remus raised his eyebrow at this. I guess I'm not the only one who was disappointed in the student body's lack of creativity in naming this new sexually transmitted disease. I snorted at the horrified look on Peter's face.

"Prongs, you do know that rumors aren't true, right?" Remus asked innocently.

"That's just what they want you to think," he whispered back.

"Do you honestly believe that Courtney and I would ever shag?" Sirius laughed.

James took a couple seconds to glance between the two of us before laughing and shaking his head.

"Nah, the idea is completely barmy. Like you guys would even _think _about each other in that way," he laughed again.

Sirius and I both shifted uncomfortably in our seats. I could feel my face growing warm but I quickly fought off the feeling when I remembered what he had done. My face started getting red again though, only in anger this time. My fingernails dug into the palm of hand painfully as I tried to resist crying or slapping Sirius.

I could sense that everyone's eyes were starting to glance awkwardly in my direction. I abruptly stood up and grabbed my books. I muttered an inaudible excuse and hurried out of the Great Hall, hanging my head low with my hair swinging on either side of my face.

Could I get more pathetic in any way? Really? Is it possible?

----------

**Sirius's POV**

"You're such a hypocrite," I said matter-of-factly, leaning on the wall next to Courtney who was currently scowling at the wall opposite of us.

"Glad somebody noticed," she muttered bitterly.

"You're just as immature and selfish as I am," I added.

"So it would seem," Courtney sighed.

She stayed silent. I looked over at her timidly. She was glaring and had a mean look on her face but she was still pretty. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and sighed, causing her to raise an eyebrow at me.

"So, er, want to snog?" I asked.

"For the sake of your balls, please tell me that you're joking," she shot back.

"You have to make everything so bloody complicated, don't you?" I snapped.

"_I'm_ the one making things complicated? Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Courtney spat.

"You start dating this complete idiot just to spite me and then you get mad at me when I help you break things off with him!" I said hotly.

"What makes you think that you had anything to do with my relationship with Phillip? See, this is what I'm talking about. You're so arrogant and frustrating! You followed me out here just to pick a fight!" she yelled.

"You're the one who had to make the scene in front Beth! It was a totally unprovoked attack! Merlin only knows how many people she told before I could convince her to keep her mouth shut," I growled.

"Embarrassed, are we? Then you shouldn't have kissed me in the first place!" she cried, her eyes getting glassy.

I stopped with my mouth hanging open. Any sharp remark I had planned to say vanished from my mind. She was going to go all emotional on me because she thought I was embarrassed. As much as I wanted to tell her about my mate's feelings for her, I couldn't.

"You think I'm embarrassed?" I asked quietly.

She narrowed her eyes at me. In some way, her rude demeanor was a defense mechanism. After spending time with her, I've caught on to it. She tries to act tough but it's all an act. I can see right through it…especially now when it's at its weakest. She rubbed at her nose with her sleeve before nodding.

"It's not that easy," I murmured, reaching my hand out to touch her cheek.

"Don't," she said coldly, causing me to jerk my hand back.

"What are we even fighting about?" I snapped in irritation.

"Does it even matter, Sirius?" Courtney questioned stiffly, turning on her heel and walking away from me.

Why must I fancy this difficult girl?

--------------------------------

**A/N-**OK, I realize that I disappeared off the face of the earth pretty much. Would it make anyone happy if I said that I got an A in algebra? I didn't think so…It was worth a shot. To make a long story short, stress got the best of me and I haven't even been able to think about writing for months. I am a little ball of stress and anxiety. So it happens. Anyway, I apologize for the length of this chapter. I knew it was going to be short but I also knew that it might be a very long time before I got the chance to write again. Excuse the mistakes and such as I was very incoherent today. I'm going through med withdrawal. Yeah, what a joke. I thought I would be able to write after I got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday. I haven't been awake longer than two hours until today. And I'm rambling so I need to wrap this up. I'll try to get a chapter up sometime within the next week or so, hopefully I'm getting back into the swing of things. **Please review!** Thanks again for all the previous reviews! I really, really, really appreciate it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer-**I don't own HP and am way too tired to come up with anything creative to say.

**Thanks a load for all the reviews on the chapter! There were tons of lurkers though! I will find you! ;)**

**Chapter 15-**

I give up on everything. Sirius Black is just impossible. End of story. He's like an uncooperative toddler. It's nearly impossible to have any kind of relationship with the boy. I honestly don't know how Remus, James, and Peter do it. I think I would have murdered him years ago if I were them. I imagine it would have happened shortly after third year.

He's such an arrogant little prick! I can't believe that he had the nerve to follow me from the Great Hall and pick a fight. He's completely intolerable.

I often wonder what it was that made me fancy him in the first place. Maybe I'm just attracted to asinine jerks in general. Perhaps if another wanker came along, I'd drool over him too. This is why parents shouldn't send their teenagers away for the school year to live among other hormone-driven teenagers. It's just not a good idea.

If it weren't such an immature idea, I'd avoid him. I've learned that avoiding someone isn't always the best plan of action. Besides, people are already suspicious enough. There's no reason to stoke the fire of that rumor.

----------

The windows in the common room were beginning to grow dark as night approached. I sat alone on a chair staring out the window idly. I vaguely recall hearing the portrait swing open to let in a few familiar voices. I didn't turn to look at them though. I was too concerned with watching the window.

It was nearing the holidays and I had not received another letter from my father yet. I had talked with Lucius earlier. He said to be waiting for the letter tonight. I was puzzled with this. I don't understand why my letter doesn't come with everyone else's letters in the morning. Maybe he understands that I don't want people breathing down my neck when I'm trying to read the message.

I looked down at my hands and was surprised to find them clammy and moist from uneasiness. I laughed hollowly to myself. I couldn't stand to sit in the chair any longer. I stood up and walked over to the window, craning my neck to get a better view of the night time sky.

The stars were fogged over by wispy clouds floating along languidly. I was a little frustrated by this because I was hoping to take up my old childhood habit of searching for my shooting star. I tried to twist my neck further to see the sky but I was dismayed when I found out that the corners of the window were fogged by the cold weather.

I sighed and sat back down in my chair, only to start drumming my fingers impatiently on the chair's arm a few minutes later. I am a horribly impatient person and waiting for this letter is nerve-wracking. I stood up quickly and began to pace in front of the window. I watched the tiny specks of snow fall to the ground slowly. A light snow had started. I smiled when a gust of wind sent the delicate flakes swirling and spinning.

I couldn't help myself. I grabbed my cloak and a scarf and hurried outside. The ground was hard and crunched under my feet but there was only a light dusting of snow. I quickly made my way over to the tree by the lake and plopped myself down. The branches were hardly any shelter at all from the light snow. I didn't mind though. The cool flakes helped relax my anxious nerves.

"What are you doing out here?"

I cautiously crept around the other side of the tree and found a boy shaking snow out his shaggy, black hair. He squinted his eyes at me and started fiddling with the wand in his hands.

"Sirius? How long have you been out here? You don't have a cloak. Are you crazy? You're going to get sick," I said.

"I'm fine. Answer my question," he responded gruffly, his eyes trained on his wand.

"I just came out here to enjoy the snow," I answered stiffly.

"Enjoy the snow? What's there to enjoy? It's cold, wet, and icy," Sirius laughed harshly.

"I happen to like winter," I said evenly.

"Why are you such an indifferent person?" he asked casually.

"Indifferent? What do you mean?" I inquired.

"You seem indifferent to everything. You're uninterested in me and the whole idea of a functioning relationship, for example," he clarified, looking up at the sky.

"Oh, I see now. This is about you," I said scathingly, upset that he had turned a normal conversation into an argument, "Well, if you really must know why I'm so 'uninterested in you and the whole idea of a functioning relationship', I'd like to tell you that it's _not me_ who's the indifferent one. You're the one who is incapable of maintaining a normal relationship with another person."

"I didn't mean a romantic relationship," Sirius muttered.

"Oh," I mumbled embarrassedly.

I had automatically assumed that was what he meant. I knew that he could never really fancy me. I was just another girl to mark off on his list. I felt completely stupid for ever thinking about the idea of us being together.

"It's not that I don't want to be with you," Sirius assured me quickly, "It's just not that easy. I wish it was."

I felt relieved and excited all at once, but then his words registered in my head. He was just using some kind excuse so he wouldn't hurt my feelings. I felt used. I wasn't about to let him dance around the subject of not wanting to be with me. I was going to confront him about it head-on. If there was something so wretched about me, I wanted to know.

"How can it be that difficult, Sirius?" I cried suddenly, "Are you really that ashamed of me? Would I affect your 'reputation' that much?"

"It's not that, Courtney," he said, taking a deep breath, "I like you, I really do. I just-I can't tell you."

"For Merlin's sake, how old are we? Twelve?" I snapped.

"I'm not breaking a friend's trust," Sirius said brusquely.

"Do you really expect me to believe that it's a _friend_ who is stopping us from being together?" I asked cynically, "You're unbelievable, Sirius Black. How thick do you think I am?"

"Stop with the bloody bitch act already," he spat, scowling.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I fired back.

"I would have thought the meaning was quite clear. Here, I'll tell you again though: Stop acting like a bitch," he said icily.

"Don't try to pin the blame on me, Sirius," I warned, "You're the one who keeps picking fights."

The two of us sat under the tree, glaring daggers at each other. Actually, I hardly think they were normal daggers. They were daggers slathered in poison. A horribly, lethal poison causing death…slow and painful death.

"Is there even a point to this fight?" he laughed bitterly.

"I don't think so. I believe you just like infuriating me," I returned briskly.

"Do-,"

"If that sentence ends with a word beginning with 'S' and ends with a 'NOG', I'd stop while you're ahead. I'd rather not have to send your testicles in a small box to James," I said dryly.

He stopped and gave me a strange look, before relenting to a smile.

"Why would James get them?" he questioned curiously.

"Because he's the only one who would laugh at you," I answered simply.

------------------

I found myself in a familiar place; sitting in front of the common room window with nothing else to do except worry. It was getting so late and I had yet to get my letter. I was beginning to have my doubts. He had come through once, but what if he had changed his mind?

I did my best to divert my thoughts. I tried to fret over the upcoming N.E.W.T. tests or the essay due for Potions next Wednesday. Nothing seemed to work until I thought of Sirius, my other horribly worn subject of thought.

As much as I would like to hate that boy, I just can't bring myself to do it. He's like chocolate. You want to hate it so much because it's bad for you. You're so furious with it when you see the weight you put on from it, but it tastes so good that you could never bring yourself to truly hate it.

Except I don't eat Sirius…and he doesn't make me fat.

You get the general idea though.

"Courtney?"

I jumped up from my chair by the common room window and turned around to see a weary-eyed Lily. Her mane of red hair was poking out in all sorts of odd directions. She stumbled sleepily over to the chair across the room from mine, dragging it towards me.

"What are you doing up?" she asked, covering her mouth to yawn.

"I…er, couldn't sleep," I lied.

"I just woke up from this bizarre dream," Lily said, flopping down on the chair beside me, "I had this dream that Remus, Sirius, and James got into this horrible fight and-and you were there too. I can't remember what you were doing. You just kept going on about your Divination class. It was so odd."

She was hardly awake. Lily was struggling to stay awake just for a bit. I knew that when she woke up and found that I wasn't in bed, she had come to find me. She's like a mother hen, always needing to know where the people she cares about are.

"Maybe you should try to go back up to bed and fall asleep again," I suggested hopefully.

"I'll stay down here and keep you company," she replied, her eyes beginning to droop.

I let her stay with me. Her soft snores soothed me in some unknown way. It might have been the fact that they were something familiar, something that always seemed to be present during the night…It could have been knowing that she was with me. Although she wasn't aware of my inner turmoil, she was still there for me. Lily didn't have a clue as to what it was that has been troubling me lately, but she's always been there to try to comfort me in any way that she can.

I've always admired Lily. She has this inner strength that I could never even imagine having. She shows compassion and friendliness to those who don't really even deserve it. She can be nice or she can be mean. Lily has also found her balance. She knows what kind of attitude is needed for some things and what kind of attitude is needed for other things.

_Tap, tap, tap._

My head jerked up and I was overjoyed to see a dark owl hovering outside the window. I did not calmly walk over to the window nor did I run. I did some kind of mad dash that involved lots of unnecessary arm swinging and stumbles. By the time I managed to reach the window and let the owl in, he was quite impatient. I let him perch wherever he pleased in the common room, hurrying over to the glowing embers of the fire to try to decipher my letter.

_Courtney,_

_Lucius has informed me that you have accepted my invitation to come and spend the winter holidays with me at my home. As I mentioned before, he will be your escort. He will ensure that you safely arrive. During your stay, an annual holiday dinner will be held at my home. If you are not able to obtain to appropriate attire before you arrive, I am sure that I will be able to provide you with an agreeable dress._

_Sincerely,_

_Your father_

My face felt like it was going to burst in half from my wide grin. It was definite. I was going to meet my father. I was thrilled beyond words, adrenaline coursed through my veins like fire. It was the thing that haunted my thoughts and stole sleep from me at nights. It would all be over and I would finally be acquainted with him.

I turned around and found that Lily was still fast asleep, her head lolling to the side. I couldn't contain this information any longer. I hastily made my way up to the boy's dormitory, slowly opening the door to the room in which the Marauders slept. I was greeted by near silence with only an occasional snore or grunt. I watched my feet carefully, remembering all too well my last adventure in their dormitory.

I found Sirius spread-eagle on his bed. He was so handsome when he was sleeping…and not talking. Alright, his incessant speech doesn't bother me that much, but I can further appreciate my attraction to him when he's not making me furious.

I tried to get on his bed without making too much noise but it was nearly impossible, not to mention that he was taking up the whole bloody thing. I was trying to maneuver myself onto the edge where I could best whisper to him about the letter when I felt myself losing balance. My chest tightened and my arms began wind milling like mad to keep myself from falling. I was almost balanced again when Sirius decided jerk in his sleep, causing me go tumbling backwards and land flat on my back with a resounding thud.

"OI! Who's there?" James bellowed, lighting his wand from the other side of the room.

I nearly screamed when a jet of red light went whizzing across the room. All the boys were roused now. Remus was still sleepily rubbing at his eyes when Peter stumbled blindly into him.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius asked, lighting his own wand.

"I think we have an intruder, mates; probably a Slytherin hoping to sabotage Gryffindor's chance at the House Cup!" James said darkly, "We'll find the slimy git and hex the hell of out of him!"

That was when I made a horrible, strangled, high-pitched cry. The last thing I wanted was to be on the receiving end of a violent Marauder assault.

"No! Stop! It's me!" I cried.

Sirius looked down from his bed, flashing his wand around and spotted me. He raised an eyebrow at me and grinned. James, Remus, and Peter slowly made their way over to surround Sirius's bed and me.

Note that I'm still laying sprawled out, flat on my back.

"Courtney? What are you doing in here?" Remus asked, puzzled.

"I-,"

"How do we know it's really Courtney? It might be a Slytherin using polyjuice potion," James pointed out, narrowing his eyes at me, "Tell us something that only the real Courtney Meadowes would know."

James's wand was inches away from my face. I rolled my eyes at him. He was being completely ridiculous.

"If you don't point that bloody wand in a different direction soon it'll be Sirius getting testicles in a box delivered to him," I snapped.

James gave me a funny look, showing the slightest bit of fear. I would have laughed at him had his wand not been directly between my eyes and a hex on the tip of his tongue.

"It's her," Sirius sighed, pulling me up.

"How can you be so sure, Padfoot?" James asked.

"Do you honestly believe any dim-witted Slytherin could be capable of such a creative, morbid threat?" Remus questioned humorlessly.

"I suppose you're right," he said, slowly lowering his wand.

"What _are_ you doing here?" Remus asked again.

"Probably to have a quick shag with Sirius," James said, causing Peter and him to erupt into childish giggles.

My face got warm immediately and I glared at him. I opened my mouth to respond, but then I couldn't think of a good reason to be here without having James turn it into something dirty. So instead of saying that I was here to have a chat with Sirius, I just opted to say nothing and let my mouth catch some flies.

"Yes, James, how did you figure it out?" Sirius questioned sardonically, "Your wit ceases to amaze me."

"I just came up to have a quick chat with Sirius," I said quickly, interrupting James's next slew of dirty comments.

"About what?" Remus said abruptly.

"Probably nothing important, mate," Sirius said nonchalantly.

"If it wasn't important, do you think I'd be up here?" I said indignantly.

"I'm sure it's important," Sirius clarified, "But not _that_ important. I mean, it's important and all, but not _that, that_ important."

I stared at him blankly. He was really making no sense at all. He looked anxious for some reason. I suppose it was because of the silly rumors going around…that weren't really all that, er, rumor-y. His friends were probably suspicious. Who wouldn't be? We have been spending an awful lot of time together.

"We'll just have this little chat in the common room," he said, motioning me to follow him towards the door.

I trotted after him, turning around to see Remus give him a contemptuous glare.

"What was all that about?" I hissed.

"It's a secret," he replied.

"Sirius Black, you have far too many secrets," I whispered.

"More than you think, love," he grinned.

-----------------------

**A/N-**And she returns again! Talk about sporadic updating. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that tidbit. This weekend, I have been able to write again. I think the attack of the plot bunny was a wonderful thing (check my profile for the vicious plot bunny story). This is like the fourth chapter I've wrote this weekend (I have another one that's nearly done). Hopefully I'll get a chapter up for this one sometime this week. Maybe even tomorrow night if the horse's stalls aren't completely frozen! Haha, wish for a heat wave for me. Again, thanks for the reviews. **Please review again!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer-**Hi, yeah, I don't own Harry Potter. Sorry to be such a disappointment.

**Thank you SO much for all the reviews. You have no idea how much they mean! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Chapter 16-**

Sirius and I crept into the common room where Lily was still fast asleep, snoring lightly. Before I even said anything, I lit my wand and shoved the letter into his hands. He gave me a knowing look and small smile, scanning the parchment quickly.

"No name again?" he sighed.

"That doesn't really matter, now does it?" I said happily, "In eight days, I'll be able to find out his name myself, in person. Isn't this fantastic, Sirius?"

"Yes," he replied reluctantly, "I hope he meets your expectations though. Courtney, you're nearly seventeen years old and this is the first time you're going to meet this man. Don't get your hopes too high."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped hotly.

"It means that you shouldn't be expecting some kind of miracle. You've never met him before and you're at the age now where it's going to be hard to build a substantial relationship. You're not a child anymore," he answered callously.

"What does age have anything to do with it? Aren't you happy for me, Sirius? This is what I've been waiting for all my life and now all you can tell me is that my father is going to be some sort of bum," I shot back fiercely.

Lily stirred in her sleep, startling both of us. Sirius let out a deep sigh.

"Listen, Courtney, I'm not going to start some kind of fight over this. I wasn't trying to sound like I didn't care. I'm happy for you; I really am. I just worry about you, that's all," Sirius said.

"Well, don't," I retorted bitterly.

I snatched my letter back from his hands and stomped back up to my dormitory, most likely waking every girl in Gryffindor. I ignored Sirius's plea to me to come back down and sort everything out like adults. I wasn't an adult and there wasn't anything to sort out. He said what he said and that's were it ends.

-------------------------

The next morning after breakfast, I traveled towards the dungeons in hopes of meeting Lucius to talk to him about the nearing holidays. My stomach was still growling. I had hardly stepped into the Great Hall when a small group of Ravenclaw girls asked me how long Sirius had had THS and if they were at risk for getting it, even though they hadn't shagged him like I did all the time. I didn't reply nor sit down to eat; I turned on my heel and left the Great Hall. I knew that those girls would not be the only ones prodding me for answers about my torrid affair with Sirius Black. The rumors, which I had expected to die down, had multiplied, and became worse and more elaborate.

As I was walking through the corridors towards the dungeons, I had unfortunately stumbled upon the Ravenclaw quidditch team who were coming in from an early morning practice. This could have possibly been the most awkward moment of my entire life. The entire team had encircled Phillip, protecting their captain from me as if I was going to attack him any moment. Not only this, but half of the team was glaring intensely at me and then they began jeering and spouting rude comments.

"Where's Black at? At the hospital wing getting treated for that disease?" someone spat.

I kept my head down and tried to keep walking, but a few of the team members followed me. It had all been funny before because of the absurdity of the rumors, but it was getting nasty.

"No, I imagine that he and Lupin are having a go at each other, fighting over who gets her next!" another person added harshly.

I felt the back of my eyes sting and I refused to let them moisten. I wasn't going to let these imbeciles get to me. They were rumors and I was bound to get stung by them. It was just a part of being a teenager.

"_Only_ Lupin and Black? Potter's probably throwing a fist or two in there," added the first person with a sneer.

At the mention of James, I saw red. I was not going to let James's name get thrown into the pot with all these ridiculous rumors. Neither James nor Lily deserved to be ridiculed by the school by some completely fake assumption. No doubt if I didn't say anything that loads of rumors including the both of them would be formed by the end of the day.

"Leave James out of it," I snapped icily.

"Oh, look, she's defending him," a boy with blonde hair said nastily, "She's friends with Lily Evans, isn't she? Probably doesn't want her friend to find out she's been shagging her boyfriend."

Everyone except Phillip, who kept his head down, laughed and gave me nasty looks.

"Do you even hear what's coming out of your mouth?" I shot back heatedly, feeling my face turn red.

They continued to snicker.

"These rumors are ludicrous and getting completely out of hand! It's one thing to start whispering things about Sirius and me because we deserved it, but leave everyone else out of it!" I yelled fervently.

Phillip looked up at me, while his teammates continued to laugh at me. I distinctly heard someone say 'liar' and 'excuses', only making me angrier. I marched up to the group so I could talk to them, or more specifically Phillip, face-to-face.

"Phillip, you've got to believe me. I only ever kissed Sirius and nothing more. I don't go around shagging all these other guys and whatnot. I'm not really up-to-date on the newest rumors, but I most certainly never had any kind of romantic relationship with James Potter, Remus Lupin, or anyone else that you might have heard," I said earnestly, begging him to trust me.

Phillip looked me in the eye and nodded shortly. I felt slightly relieved that at least _someone_ believed I wasn't a wretched excuse for a human being.

"Likely story, Meadowes," the same blonde-haired boy said.

It was at that point that I lost my temper and whatever self-constraint I had. Knowing that I couldn't throw a good punch to save my life, I did what I knew how to do best. My knee jerked up and happened to make contact with that boy's reproductive organ. He immediately dropped to his knees, wheezing in such an over-dramatic way that it made Sirius's little show near the beginning of the year seem like amateur's work. I took that moment to grab my wand from my pocket and put it square between his eyes.

"Do you have another clever comment on the matter?" I asked.

The boy looked extremely alarmed and nearly everyone else in the group was too stunned to do anything except gape. In the death-like silence, someone's footsteps from behind were distinctly heard.

"Having a disagreement, are we?" came the smooth voice of Lucius Malfoy.

I whirled around to see him standing only a few meters behind me, looking intimidating all the while. I'll tell you, it's just the natural Slytherin aura. If I hadn't been the one seeking him, I might have been just a bit disconcerted.

"I was just looking for you," I said, lowering my wand from the boy's face.

"I had only guessed," he said stiffly, giving the scene in front of him an almost approving stare.

In a flash, the boy had shot up, hand firmly on his groin, and urged the quidditch team to get away from 'that nutter.' I watched as the Ravenclaw quidditch team gave me one last nasty glare and retreat.

"I…er," I stuttered, making wild gestures with my hands hopelessly.

"I don't imagine that the rumors will continue if you keep that up," Lucius said humorlessly, giving me a strained smile.

"Yeah, I don't suppose they will," I said awkwardly, "But how did you know that was what it was about?"

"Oh, please," he said impatiently, "That's all that the naïve children in this school have been talking about."

We walked down a less-commonly traveled corridor in silence. Despite the verbal assault I had just endured from Phillip's friends, I could feel the anticipation of the upcoming holiday bubble up inside of me again. I was eager to ask Lucius for details, but I didn't want to seem too childish.

"Let's make this short and to the point," he started curtly, wagging a finger at my open mouth, "I'm very busy right now. There is no time for your senseless chatter. When we arrive at Platform 9 ¾, you will find me and from that point we will apparate."

"But I can't apparate yet," I chimed in anxiously, "I don't turn seventeen for another two months!"

"That's easily solved," Lucius responded simply.

"Oh, well—"

"Do you have proper attire?" he interrupted me.

"I, er, no, wait—"

"I will arrange clothing that will be fitting for the occasion," he said firmly, "That is all we need to discuss and as I said before, I am very busy. I shall see you at the train station."

He promptly turned on his heel and walked away without another word. Even though I owe him quite a bit for everything he has done for me, I can't help but think about how arrogant he is. I don't think that he even listens to anything that is said to him. Perhaps it' just the Slytherin nature…Someone should make a career of studying those cheeky buggers.

------------------------------

"I've never seen a more unstable relationship in my entire life," Remus commented, passing me his Charms essay.

"He's acting like a wanker," I protested, scribbling down the beginning of an essay, "I honestly don't know how you _haven't_ murdered him yet."

"As much as it pains me to say this," he said seriously, "Sirius isn't completely to blame for all the rows you two have. You seem to instigate quite a few of them."

"Whose side are you on here, Remus?" I asked defensively.

He put his hands up in the air and replied, "I'm neutral."

Even through the loud chatter of the common room, I could hear the voices of Sirius and James as they entered. Both of them were obnoxiously laughing over something or another. I tried my best to glower at Sirius. I'm not sure if he even noticed though.

"When you're done with my notes, just bring them up to the dormitory," Remus said.

"Sure," I muttered distractedly, still trying to get someone's attention with my menacing look.

"And, whatever you do, don't pass around the essay. I'd rather not get another zero and a detention," he smiled, yanking my attention back to him.

I grinned at him and nodded. He slung his bag over his shoulder and went up the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory. I couldn't help but note that Remus was looking particularly tired today. He looked borderline ill. I thought about asking him if he was alright, but decided that I shouldn't be worried. The professors were giving us more work than usual because of the upcoming holidays. That was surely the reason.

I was startled when James and Sirius plopped down in the two chairs across from me, still wearing ear-to-ear grins. To tell you the truth, I was a little on the suspicious side.

"What are you two up to?" I asked apprehensively.

"Just a little good natured revenge," Sirius replied cheerfully.

"Sirius, revenge is never 'good natured' by any means," I refuted.

"Well, let's just say that we might have discovered a little snitch on Ravenclaw's quidditch team who was spreading some rumors and he got a bit of well-deserved payback," James grinned, causing the both of them to chortle.

"Oh…" I said, "Actually, don't even tell me. I don't want to know."

"It was quite clever though. I think that Prongs deserves a pat on the back for it," Sirius said proudly, clapping James roughly on the back.

I eyed them warily and returned my focus to copying the essay that Remus had lent me. I really didn't have any idea what they did and I wasn't too keen on finding out. I wasn't about to get involved in any way with their prank. I was going to be in enough trouble if that friend of Phillip's tells McGonagall. Let's hope that he doesn't.

I looked up just in time to see Lily enter the common room with her arms overflowing with books and odd bits of parchment. James jumped up from his seat and went to help Lily like a good boyfriend should. Apparently they had made their relationship 'official' recently, but I had been too wrapped up in my own problems to let Lily tell me. Surprisingly, she didn't seem too bent out of shape about it. I guess she knew that I was a little…stressed, for lack of a better word.

"Are you still angry at me for earlier?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

"I might be," I said nonchalantly, "Or I might not be."

He sighed in annoyance, causing me to smirk.

"I didn't mean to come off as rude or anything," he said.

"Sure, you didn't," I muttered, twirling my quill around in the inkwell.

"I'm sorry, alright?" Sirius snapped, irritated.

"Good," I smiled, "Sirius, you don't have anything to worry about. It's going to be fine."

-----------------------------------------

**Slytherin Common Room **_(narrator POV)_

It was nearly midnight in the Slytherin common room. As the last few occupants marched up their respective staircases to sleep, a boy with white-blonde hair kneeled in front of a fire. Within a few moments, a man's head appeared in the fire.

"I was worried you weren't going to show," Lucius said coolly.

"Is everything going as planned?" the man asked.

"Everything is going flawlessly," Lucius responded, letting a smile grace his features.

"She isn't suspicious then?" the man questioned.

"Why would she be suspicious? The girl has been waiting all her life to meet you. Her happiness smothers any sort of disbelief she might have had," replied Lucius firmly.

"_Perfect."_

--------------------------------

**A/N-** Yeah, I'd like to start by saying that I'm sorry that I took a looooong time, coughsixmonthscough, to update this. I looked back at the last chapter which said an update by next week….and it's not next week. A few of those have passed. I'm really sorry. If you read my other fic (which you should), you would have found out that I'd been in a not so good situation a while ago. It's still no excuse for that much of a gap between updates. Sorry! Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. It would have been longer but I wanted to end it there. It seemed like a 'mysterious' place to stop. I'm quite really really really really really excited for the new book so I probably won't update until sometime next week at the soonest. Again, thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. That's actually what helped me overcome my writer's block and write today. I read them again and it was like BOOM! **Please **review again. It would mean oodles to me.


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